Thoughts on Turning 40

on my first birthday

I'm writing this post two days before I turn 40.  I guess when you reach this age, it is but natural to look back at the past, see where you've been, what you have done and accomplished, ponder on the things you left undone, words left unspoken, chances not taken and wonder what could have been. I'm two days short of being forty and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I see people I know living the life I've always wanted, doing the work I've planned to do when I was twenty years younger. I see people I know living my dream.

Two days from now I turn forty. And life is far from the life I thought I'd have when I was just a teenager.

Yes, life didn't turn out the way I wanted. I've made mistakes that had turned my life upside down but       regardless of whatever mistakes I've done, whatever chances I didn't take, whatever things and words I didn't do and say, I always realize I have everything that makes life worth living.

My smart, talented and opinionated fifteen-year-old son --  I worry about him every day, I complain about how hard it is raising a teenager, I get stressed when he argues with me but in spite of everything, I'd rather be a mother rather than a single woman travelling the world. And I'll never trade him for any other boy.  If I have to live my life all over again, I'll do the same things I've done, walk the same path I've walked, commit the same errors I've committed just to make sure I'll still have him for my son.

My son, Toots, when he was ten years younger.

Hunny Bed - I know he loves me.  He is my second chance.  He takes care of me and of my son.  He does everything to make me happy and I live for his embrace.

My parents and my sister -- No matter what happens, I know they will always be there for me.  We may not agree on everything ...or on a lot of things but they are my stronghold on this earth.  I feel very blessed that I still have my parents with me and I pray for many more healthy and productive years for them.  My sister and I no longer spend as much time as we did before, but she and I will always be the best friends that we were when we were just innocent young girls playing make-believe.

This was taken today during my advance birthday celebration.

My little nephew, Emilio -- He is such a joy!  Playing with him makes me feel like a child again and because he looks a lot like my son, he reminds me so much of my son's toddler years.




Lastly, I have job I believe I am good at, a job that allows me to touch the future and change society one child at a time.  Not many successful people can say that about their job.

These are the things that matter.  I'm turning 40 on Tuesday.  I don't have much to show based on the world's standards but God has given me everything I need to keep me happy....and that's what's really important.

Just Being Sentimental

I was in the middle of making a somewhat negative post about our recent trip to HK when I stumbled upon a story which I thought was worth sharing.  In fact, it inspired me so much that I opted to abandon the post I was making and to just start a new one.

This story was shared on Facebook by someone I knew in grade school.

She said that one time she was grilling some barbecues with her dad, her dad explained to her the difference between heaven and hell.

In hell, where it is always too hot, people keep grilling barbecues.  In heaven, people eat cotton candies and the barbecues that the people in hell had grilled.

And then upon seeing a street child outside their yard,  her dad stood up and gave the child a stick of barbecue.  Then he went back to her daughter, smiled, and said, "Heaven."

I bet my classmate is real proud of her dad and of the memories he left her with.

I stared at her facebook post for quite sometime, reflecting on how I spend time with my son and on the kind of things I'm able to teach him, on the kind of memories he has of me in his memory bank.

My son is now 14 years old and I want to be able to give him more than I have ever given him.  I wish and  I pray that God will give me the strength, the good health, and needed resources to build many more memories with my son and that He will shower me with wisdom and grace to teach my son through my words and actions the things that I want him to learn.

Dear Monday v. 5

a link-up with Megan

Happy Monday friends! It's time once again for another round of Dear Monday!

Dear Monday, you're supposed to be stress-free today with the suspension of classes.  Still, why am I so stressed? Is it because of the tons of work  I have to do, even on a non-working day?

Dear Saturday, you were specially busy last week!  You made me cook up a storm!  It left me exhausted but entirely happy for my son who celebrated his thirteenth birthday.

Dear Sunday, you were a delight! You filled my stomach to the brim!  Hahaha! Does it even have a brim? Oh what the "h", it's just an expression!  We celebrated our mom's 70th birthday in advance at Midas Hotel. I had a glorious time eating everything their buffet had to offer.  Sorry, I didn't get to take lots of pictures of the food, specially the pretty desserts.  I was so busy eating!

I can't remember enjoying a veggie salad as much as I did this one!

       I had grilled seafoods too! Yum!  And I could live on their bread and cheese! Oh, I can feel my mouth watering again!

Dear Mom,  happy birthday in advance!  Thanks for taking care of me and my son! I hope you will still be strong enough to take care of another child of mine sometime in the very near future!  We are all very lucky to have you!   May God give you many more happy birthdays!

Mothers never stop being mothers. See? My mom still fixes my hair!

Mom at almost 70

Dear family, I am really so blessed to have you! I know we are always noisy and oftentimes arguing over little things, but still we do love one another and that's what's most important.

Dear paperworks, I hope I get to do more of you this week!  I really need to!

Dear God, thank you for the love and the blessings!  Please continue to bless the people I love!

Thursday Thoughts v. 3

Again, this is a link-up with Sar.

(1)

I have been sad and quite mad for two days now about the news that a mountain in my hometown of Sta. Cruz, Zambales, had been leveled by a certain mining company.  It happened without the knowledge of the mayor and when he sent people to stop what was happening, they were met by heavily armed men.

The mayor complained to the regional office of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources but it was not prevented.  What was worse was that the mayor is now being sued by the mining company for abuse of authority and oppression.

In one newspaper, the company said that there was no mountain in the site. What a big lie!  Everyone who lives there knows that there was a mountain in that area.  It just makes me so mad!

In His wisdom, God placed the mountain in that area. It used to serve as a natural barrier.

If it wasn't  needed there, God would not have placed it there. I am just so worried now that it's gone, specially now that global warming is causing stronger typhoons.

How is the town going to protect itself now?

Our town was actually badly damaged by the typhoon Cosme, compared to other nearby towns.  People there all think that it was because of the leveling of that particular mountain.  

I just pray that the disasters I am so scared of will not happen.

(2)

Ruel and I finally applied for our marriage license today.  We were required to undergo a three-hour seminar on health and family planning.   We attended it together with six or seven other couples.  It was interesting but a little scandalous in a way.  

(3)

I have successfully fought the temptation to drink milk tea today.  It's been my obsession for at least a year now and I usually give in to my craving.   I am so proud of myself today, for not giving in!

(4)

I have decided to make it a point to buy more Philippine-made products and to avoid buying China-made stuff, if that is even possible.  Everything nowadays is China-made. We should start empowering ourselves by patronizing our own.

Oh well...so this is me this Thursday -- a little serious and reflective, but still thirsty and in love!

Now it's time to go to Sar and read her thoughts.

Counting Blessings

I was recently reminded that I have been given so much. Indeed, there are so many things I have to be thankful for. Bear with me as I count my blessings.

Warning: long post with a lot of self-affirmations ahead.

my parents

I was blessed with loving parents who never gave up on me.  They provided for all my needs and tried hard to provide my wants.  They never abandoned me even during times I was unlovable.

my grandparents

My grandparents were sweet and loving and totally adored me! Because of them I grew up believing I was beautiful!

My grandparents together with my mom, my aunt and my uncle.

My beautiful grandmother

my sister

I have been rather sad lately because my sister and I are not as close as we used to be. However, I'm still happy God gave me my sister.  God knew I needed someone to play with, to laugh with,  to sing with, to share my secrets with, so He gave her to me.   Though I used to pull her hair when I was four and she was two and she used to bite me, we still grew up as close as two sisters could get.

That's my sister wearing the blue slipper.

Just before we left for school. I was 13 and she was 11.

My sister in plaid.

She's the one in pink.

my son

My son was born strong, healthy and smiling.  He smiled at his doctor and showed a dimple on one cheek.  When the doctor brought him out of the delivery room to show him to my family, he smiled at my dad and showed two dimples, one on each cheek!

He was a happy baby, full of life, sweet and affectionate.  He entertained us and even crowds of strangers with his songs and dance.  He learned his ABC's when he was one and a half.  He could sing Ikaw Lang ang Mamahalin from start to finish when he was two and he could hit all the right notes too! He learned to read sentences when he was three.  He wrote his first story when he was five. He made his first comic book when he was six.  He plays the violin excellently.  He can play a musical piece just by listening to it.  He now plays in church.  

After a music festival

Please find time to listen to my son play.  I want to share his music to the world.  You won't regret clicking the play button.
 This was taken a year and a half ago.

My is also good in drawing.

The Blessed Virgin, done when he was eight.

Ruel

He is really Godsend.  He has waited for me for so long and never gave up on me.  He is the most loving man I have ever met, aside from my dad and my grandpa.  He always thinks of my welfare, as well as my son's.  He thinks of my parents' welfare as well.  He is sweet and thoughtful and very principled.  He makes me very happy and I cannot wait to be his wife.

I don't think I can find a better man.  He is my superman!

I have been blessed with friends who are out of the country but I know for certain that they will always be there for me when I need them.  

Tina, Renan, Jen O, Maike, thank you!

I have been blessed with friends in school, in and outside our department, you know who you are.

Thank you.

My Sunlife friends, Myla and Lalaine...they know me inside out and love me just the same!

My fellow Brigadoonians who have made me feel so young the past months, thank you.

Jen T.

Jen was my college best friend. We did everything together, giggled and laughed about everything.   We shared a passion for writing to our penfriends all across the globe. Our biggest problem was how to talk to boys!  

We do not see each other as often as we used to but whenever we do, it's like nothing has changed. She is still the same old Jen I know who listens to me ramble on and on and who loves watching people.

Jen is the one in blue. This was taken when we were both 18.

Ate Lyn

She is a cousin I wasn't close to growing up but who is now like a sister to me.

Ate Bing

my cousin and my playmate

                                                              Fidel

He was my first, the father of my son. I would have had a different son if it had not been for him. In our years together there were good moments and those were blessings.  There were also bad moments and I still consider them blessings....in disguise.  

Mrs. Cellona

My grade four teacher who took notice of a shy girl.

Mr. Antonio

My Philosophy of Man teacher who believed in me and gave me the confidence I needed. He was also the one who taught me to appreciate the fundamental goodness of man and planted in me a certain hunger to become fully and truly human.

This has gotten way so long but I am still counting my blessings and I thank those who are still reading at this point.

Now let's go to me....

I have a quick, analytical mind.

I can write poems and stories.

I can write to inspire and to convince.

I can also make people laugh.

I enjoy dancing and God gave me the ability to dance.  I'm not saying I'm excellent at it, but people say I am graceful  so I guess that's good enough for me.

I can act.

I have been given plenty of opportunities to do the things I love to do.

I'm short and I cannot join beauty pageants but...

God allowed me to join one...and I earned a place too!

I'm not a good singer but....

I sang plenty of times in a choir and in front of an audience.

I wanted to be a movie actress but I did not become one.

However, God gave me the chance to act in a play.

Somehow I always get what  I want when I put my mind to it.

My students always win in contests whenever I help them.

My face is not the kind of face that stops people and makes them turn around but....

some people actually think I'm pretty.

AND my face really looks good in pictures.

I never needed a dentist to put braces on my teeth but people have always complimented me on my teeth.

I love Zambales mangoes and God gave us a small mango farm.

I almost died of dengue hemorrhageic fever when I was 18...

I told God, it was ok to take me but then I was so sad because I had never fallen in love yet.

And God allowed me to live.

And allowed me to fall in love, again and again...and again.

I asked God to send me someone, someone I can love and who will love me and my son.

He gave me Ruel.

We are getting married in December.

I am short and small in frame.

But I have learned to accept it, am confident despite of it and consider it as a blessing in disguise.

It actually allows me to move thru crowds quickly.

I prayed for a Church annulment of my marriage and it was granted.

I have everything I need.

I have been blessed with a Catholic faith.

I have a good foundation of my faith.

God protects me and my loved ones always. He keeps us away from harm and sickness.

I have so many other blessings that I probably have not mentioned here.

I have always wanted to have a lovely voice....

But God did not give it to me.

Probably, He was thinking I already had enough.

Hahaha!

I am loved and valued by people who matter.

So thank you, God, for everything. Please continue to bless me and my loved ones always.

I have certainly been blessed with so much.

I am blessed with this blog and with people who read it.

I hope they  will also start counting their blessings.

Versatile Blogger Award and Woven Bag!

It has been a busy but wonderful day.

I woke up to find out that I have just been awarded  the Versatile Blogger Award!

Thanks so much Chris for nomination!  Check out her blog for her latest adventures at http://pinaythrillseeker.blogspot.com.

According to the rules of the award, I have to give seven information about myself.  I don't know how good I'll be on this one.  I've had written so much about me during the 15 Day Challenge but here goes...

 There was a time I wanted to be a nun.  I just thought I'd be kicked out of the convent for laughing too 

 much and too loud.

   I am allergic to shrimps and crabs but I still eat them.  I just drink plenty of water afterwards.

   When I was in 2nd grade, I was so shy and quiet that my teacher sat me next to the noisiest girl in class to keep her quiet.

I've given up traveling abroad twice (the second time  to five countries)  in the name of love.

I love buffet meals.  I once got dizzy from overeating.

I loved to catch dragonflies when I was young.  I was very good at it.

I consider myself a frustrated singer and actress.

I'm just a new blogger so I can only choose a few bloggers to nominate for the award.
I need more time to complete the list as I want to be totally sincere about the nomination.

Click on the links and visit my first five.
1. Allie
2. Sar
3. Kristin
4.Jennifer and Tiago
5.Yelena

Nominees, please check out  http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/ to know what you have to do.


On a totally different note, here's why I've been busy today.

Sheryl Cruz, a local actress and the mother of one of my  students, invited me to take weaving classes.  She's been attending the same for quite a while and have already made a LOT of fabulous bags made of woven paper.  It's just so bad I wasn't able to take pictures of her bags.

       This is mine...

Me...with one of the organizers.  She's the one holding a wallet.

The purpose of the program is actually to give livelihood for housewives.  The one in red shirt and the other girl in stripes are women who have already been trained to  make bags and they were the ones who taught us today.  The one with the eyeglasses is Sheryl Cruz.

Here's Sheryl Cruz.

 She's very passionate about new-found hobby.  Her designs are just fabulous.  Loved them all!

She was also very nice to me. Thanks so much, Ms. Sheryl!

                                      Here's the wallet you saw a while ago... now in focus.

I haven't finished my bag yet.  Once it is done, I'll post it here for you to see!

I have to go weave now!

Dear Monday v. 2

linking up with Megan

Dear Monday,  you were exhausting today.  I had great expectations for this afternoon but you kind of disappointed me.  I'm glad you're finally almost over so I could just move on and get closer to Saturday, which is my favorite day.

Dear Toots, I'm so sorry we didn't get to talk a lot today. I got home pretty late because of the Brigadoon practice.  Don't worry, it's just for five days.  I love you!

Dear Brigadoon Cast, I was so disappointed that we were so few today!  It was so hard to act and keep my blocking when nobody was on the stage.  I hope we'd be complete tomorrow.  

Dear Niki, I miss you.  I've been wanting to tell you that for more than a week now.  I can't write my response yet as I am so exhausted tonight but just know that I will respond.  

Dear God, thank you for another day and for always keeping all my loved ones safe and healthy.   

Thursday Thoughts v. 2

This is a link up with Sar.

(1)

I woke up this morning thinking of one thing:  yema.  It's some sort of a local candy that has peanuts and milk as its main ingredient.  It comes in small pyramid shapes.  I could actually see these small pyramids inside my head the whole morning.  I could taste it's sweetness and  I could feel its crisp surface and the soft inner part of the candy.  

(2)

I finally returned the book, Best Man to the library.  Honestly, I did not finish it.  The story was  too slow for me.  I kept on waiting for the funny parts which were supposed to come from the main character's attempts to sabotage his best friend's wedding.  I was already halfway through and still, there were no attempts.  I couldn't even understand why it was entitled Best Man. 

(3)

After returning, Best Man, I went to the fiction section of the library and looked for another book.  I saw a college student, a friend I made in Brigadoon, who recommended two books to me.  It has been a long time since I read a book I truly enjoyed and I hope I would end up enjoying these two.

(4)

I have been craving for milk tea for like a week and today, I got the chance to have some with Angel.  She and I took the train together after work.  We got off at Gateway Mall, as usual, and had our milk tea. On my way home, I dropped by Mango.  They were having  a sale and I saw this really nice white top that was great for Fridays  (That's the only time we were allowed not to be in uniform).  I fought the urge try it on because I knew that if it fit me, and I was sure it would, I would end up buying it.   I got home and regretted not having tried it on.  I guess I'll go back tomorrow. :)

(5)

I went to Sar's blog when I got home and I was happy to see that she had already posted the questions for her 15 Day  Challenge. Can't wait to read answers to these questions!

How was your Thursday?

Countdown

I have decided to do a little countdown today....but only until the end of this year.

159 days to go before my wedding.  When I first got engaged...I mean, this time around....I was so excited that the wedding was all I could think of.  Today, five months before my wedding, I am still excited, but most of the time, I try not to think about it because of the stress that it gives me. This is really a stressful time for me and Ruel.

3 months to go before the first fitting of my wedding gown.  I was the one who designed the wedding gown so I really can't wait to see if they would be able to follow my design and if my design would look as lovely in real life as it looked on paper.

2 months to go before I turn another year older.  I honestly cannot say my age at the drop of a hat anymroe.  I stopped counting a long, long time ago.  When people ask me my age now, I say, "I don't know" because I really don't know or I ask them to wait as I do the math.  It's really funny, I thought I was the only one who had this experience but I was recently talking to my college best friend and she has the same don't-know-my-age-till-I-do-the-math disorder as well!  Anyway, I thank God for every year of my life, every year with my loved ones, and for all of the many more years He'll give me  to enjoy with my loved ones.

39 days to go before my son turns 13! I can't believe it! I have a teenager!!!  I pray that God will give me the strength and the wisdom to raise such a strong-willed teenager like my son.  Who am I to complain?  As they say, "The apple does not fall far from the tree.", "Kung ano ang puno siya ang bunga".   I thank God for giving me such a talented, intelligent son. I love him so much and I pray that God will give us many, many, many more years to be together.

42 days to go before my mom turns another year older.  My mom is probably the most unselfish person I have ever met when it comes to her children and grandchildren.  My goodness! She doesn't sleep a wink when we are sick, even if it's just a slight fever.  I actually wonder how she does it.  I have tried doing it several times but I have failed every time.  I pray to God that He will bless my mom with many more happy, healthy and productive years.

6 days to go before Brigadoon practices start.  Well, you probably know by now how excited I am about this.  I have written about it twice, thrice if you count this one.   I really can't wait to see the other members of the cast.  And I want to feel that adrenaline rush again!


I really hope everything turns out great!

Monday's Letters

This is a link up with Megan.


Dear Monday, thank you for being so nice to me today....no problems in school whatsoever, and I got to leave school early.   I'm so glad you're almost over though coz I can't wait for Friday.

Dear Sar, I'm so excited about the 15 Day Blog Challenge you're planning.  Please hurry up and start it already! A lot of us are waiting.

Dear Toots, I love you so much! I hurry home every day just so we can have time to talk and just be with each other.   I miss my little Toots but I don't love you any less now that you are big.

Dear Spiderman, I'm not much of a fan but I can't wait to see you on Friday. That way, my son and I can compare notes about you, and I can talk about you in my blog.

Dear July 2, I am counting the days till you're here!  I don't care if I have to leave school later than usual, as long as I get to be on stage again, rehearsing for the Brigadoon cast's last hurrah.

Dear God, thank you for everything and for everything you have in store for me.

Just Trying to Make Sense of It All

I have been betrayed by people I once considered friends—people who appeared  to be decent and worthy of my trust and loyalty.  As it turned out, appearances can really be deceiving, and so are someone’s actions, words, and way of speaking.

I admit I have been wrong, in judging a book by its cover, so to speak.  I have placed my trust on people who were in all appearances meek, nice and who acted like ladies.  Always forgetting past mistakes, always forgetting that some wolves are in sheep’s clothing, I fell into the trap.  Time and again, I find myself trusting the wrong people, investing my time in false friendships and getting hurt in the end.

I have worked in another industry prior to this – an industry that DID NOT HAVE to place high premium on Christian values but I have never been betrayed by people I met there. In fact, they were the friends I will always cherish for life.    In contrast, the industry that I belong to right now, place so much importance to Christian values and the Christian way of life.  However, it is where I have suffered betrayal, persecution and injustice.  The worst part of it all is that I suffered them all in the hands of people I trusted, people I once called friends. 

I wonder what is it about this profession that makes it so easy for colleagues to step on one another’s toes? I wonder what is it that makes them want to put someone down just so they can look better?  I wonder what is it that makes it so hard for them to just let the other enjoy his moment of triumph or glory?   Why can’t they keep themselves from raining on someone else’s parade?  Why can’t they just simply be happy for one another?  What is it about this profession that keeps someone from being the friend he is supposed to be?   

Are we all just so hungry for recognition, position and power that we are willing to sacrifice our relationships?  Is glory more important to us than kindness, respect, loyalty, trust and friendship?

Things will never be the same again. They CANNOT be the same again.  I may be able to forgive them in time but I know I will never see them again the way I once saw them.  As far as I am concerned, if they acted the way they did, they were never my friends and I do not in any way owe them any amount of loyalty.

I know that no matter what happens, no matter how many times I get hurt, I will always end up trusting once again, when someone new comes along.   It is kind of stupid, but it is the way I am.  Some may call me gullible or naive but I think that no matter how hard I try not to be, no matter how hard I try to keep my walls up, I will always end up letting my defenses down,  hoping against hope that someday, someone true and worthy of my trust will finally come along.

Real Friends

Today I realized that not all people I chat with, joke around with, or laugh with are my friends.

A real friend is:

 -someone who wishes the best for you;

 -someone who does not only stay with you when you are fun to be with, but who will stay with you when you are down, cranky or depressed;

 -someone who will laugh with you during silly moments and cry with you during times of loneliness and despair ;

 -someone who will risk looking like a fool as long as you get to enjoy your shining moment;

 -someone who will never show your weaknesses to your enemies;

 -someone who will stand by you and with you;

 -someone who will do everything to help you when you are truly in need

 -someone who will honestly tell  you your faults and still love you just the same;

 -someone you can trust with your life.

 Although I can only count my real friends with my fingers, I still  feel so blessed that I have them in my life.

Happy Independence Day!

This is in response to the question I just heard on TV.  "Do you think the Philippines is really free?"

Here is what I think.

Today, the Philippines is free from colonizers.  However, Filipinos are now slaves of other things.

Filipinos are slaves of corruption.  It exists not only in government but shameful as it is, it also exists even in schools, in the workplace, and in all other aspects of society.  It has become a part of life and is practised by people from all walks of life.    Of course, there are still those who are honest and live their life with integrity but I am talking about the majority.

Filipinos are slaves of  poverty.  More and more people go to bed hungry.  Salaries stay the same while prices of commodities constantly go up.

Filipinos are slaves of ignorance.  More and more people cannot afford quality education.  There are a lot of children who cannot even afford to go to school.  Some of those who go to school do not get to stay in school.

Filipinos are slaves of indifference.  Many choose to just let things happen, rather than take active part in making them happen, or in preventing them from happening.

Filipinos are slaves of greed -- greed of other people as well as their own greed.

Worst of all, Filipinos are slaves of themselves.  They want the country to change, the government to change, but they forget that the change should start with themselves.  Many people complain about many things.  However, they do not do anything to change things.  They complain about garbage, but they litter everywhere.  They complain about corruption but all they do is point their finger at someone else.  They do not know how to make sacrifices. Even the sacrifice of standing in attention when the National Anthem is being played or sung, is difficult for them to do.

I know I have made my country and my people look bad in the light of the things I have just written.  However, I write with the hope that my countrymen will read this post and reflect on it.  It  is only when we see ourselves for what we are and for what we have become can we be able to change what it is that needs changing.

I love my country and I love my people.  I believe in the goodness and in the greatness that lie within us. I just hope that we work hand in hand to let that goodness and greatness shine so that we may one day reclaim the glory that was once ours.

Happy Independence Day fellow Pinoys!

Thursday Thoughts

This is a link up with Sar.  

(one)

 School is starting in just a week and there are still a lot of things I need to prepare.

We'll have our Parent Orientation/Meet the Teachers tomorrow.   I'll be in school the whole day.

(two)

I was in Intramuros in the morning (business purpose) and fell in love with the place for like the hundredth time.  I kept thinking , "I should take a picture of this building, and that building ...."  but  we were in a hurry and there was no time to stop and do all these.   I'm so looking forward to our dinner date there on the 8th!  Hopefully, we'd get there before the sun goes down and I can take as many pictures as I want.

(three)

I need to write another letter to another bishop regarding the procedural fee that I incurred during the processing of my petition for the nullity of my first marriage.  Somehow, problems keep sprouting up.  With God's help and grace, I am filled with great hope that Ruel and I will be able to overcome all of them and that we will finally receive the sacrament of Holy Matrimony on the 2nd of December 2012.  I think these problems or trials are going to make our wedding even more beautiful.  

(four)

Pre-opening activites start on Tuesday next week and there are thousands of butterflies in my stomach.  I'll have a big role to play and I am not that confident that the people I'll be working with will be as cooperative as I want them to be.  Most of them are  older than I am, and this is the first time I'll be working with them.  I really don't know what to expect.

This is all I can think of at the moment. I hope you head to Sar, read what is on her page and link up!

Angel

I saw this angel standing beside the entrance of the building of the Matrimonial Tribunal of the Catholic Church.  One of his hands was holding a basket that seemed to be full of round things. The other was holding a string  with a fish hanging from it.

It wasn't exceptionally beautiful but this was the first time I've seen a statue of an angel with a fish and a basket.    I could not keep my eyes off it.  It aroused my curiosity and interest.

I wondered:

Why was it holding a fish?

What was inside the basket?

What was the message of the sculptor?

Was this connected to the phrase "fishers of men?"

Anyone care to interpret this work of art?

Some Ramblings About Rain

I have yet to see someone who loves rainy days.

I know there's got to be rain.  Rain is important.  Crops need the rain.

But I still don't like  rain.  And  I hate the rainy season.

I hate cloudy skies.  They make me feel sad.

In our country, rainy season means flooded streets and heavy traffic.

I often have to postpone or cancel shopping trips, or dates because of strong rains.

I loathe having to walk on puddles.

I hate walking in the rain and having these tiny brown dots (from dirty rain water) on the back of my legs.

(The only time I like walking in the rain is when I share an umbrella with my boyfriend.)


I hate going home alone when it's raining.

For some reason, rain does not at all make me feel safe.

I'm totally scared of typhoons.

Thunder and lightning frighten  me.

Howling winds frighten me twice as much!

Typhoons keep me awake at night, worrying about my friends and loved ones.

I guess the rainy season should have a special place in my heart.  I was born in the middle of a typhoon.  I also gave birth to my son in the middle of one.

But somehow, I cannot find it in my heart to embrace the rainy season.

Honestly, it stresses me a lot!

And the fact that my mom is just as scared as I am does not help at all!

The worst part of it all is that, there are only two seasons in the Philippines--the wet season (that's when there are plenty of rains) and the dry season (January to May)  and I am not specially fond of the April and May because of the scorching heat.

I guess the only season I love is the Christmas season which does not even have anything to do with the weather.

And last year, December was still a rainy month! I hope it would be different this year.

I'm really hoping for clear weather from end of November till December 5.

I'm getting married  on December 2, 2012 and as of now, that's the only thing I could look forward to that would help me bear this year's rainy months.

Snail Mail Friends

Except for my monthly bills, I seldom get snail mails nowadays.

There was a time, however, when I got at least one snail mail a week, sometimes even two.  They were the highlight of an otherwise boring week.

These letters came from Germany, France, Finland, Spain, Austria, Brazil, Greece, and Switzerland.  They were my windows to a world I knew only in movies and books, written by boys and girls my age who were very much interested to learn more about my world and my life as I was about theirs.

We sent each other stamps and coins from our collection, pictures, postcards, pictures from magazines, Christmas and birthday presents.

There were so many things I learned from our exchanges -- things I probably would not have learned had I not met them.   Somehow, I even learned to guess where a person is from based only on his handwriting and on his last name.

The only one I correspond with today is the one from Germany.  We have been friends for  twenty two years!  Her name is Maike and she and I met in person when we were both 19.  She stayed in our home for three weeks, before moving on to her sort of around-the-world trip after graduating from her A-lever.  She is now my son's godmother and we continue to send each other Christmas gifts.   Our   correspondence now is a mix of  Facebook, email and snail mail.

I have lost touch with the others but I am still hoping I'd stumble on them online.   I still and forever will remember them and love them  as my friends.

This is an example of an address slip that IYS used to send students who requested for penfriends.
It came along with tips on letter writing,-- a great help!

I got my penfriends from IYS (International Youth Service), an organization based in Finland.   My best friend's teacher gave my best friend a registration form and we both signed up to use their service.  IYS, after promoting the exchange of culture and the value of learning new languages closed down in 2008.  The internet has become a venue for people to meet friends around the world  that the number of students who were interested in penfriendship has greatly decreased.

 IYS used to charge only 1 US dollar per address and guaranteed a reply.  If the potential penfriend did not reply to your first letter, all you had to do was to inform IYS and they would send you another address, free of charge.

You'd end up with a penfriend from a country of your own choosing, with a gender of your choice and who shares your interests.  Their system made sure of that.   Once registered, the "member" can even receive surprise penfriends free of charge.

So actually, the cost was nothing compared to all the benefits one would get.  Most of all, it helped build friendships that lasted for life.  I felt really sad when I learned that it had closed down its operations after helping teachers and students for years.  How is my son going to get his own penfriend now?YS
ill be closing down this summer, by 30th June 200e has been
I owe a lot to IYS, and so does a lot of  us who benefited from the service.

Without IYS, I hope there was another way for the young generation to enjoy what we have enjoyed.

Exchanging letters with people of different cultures and backgrounds leads to a better understanding and acceptance of these differences, which could ultimately lead to peace.   Most of all, it is really so much fun!

This post was inspired by the post of  Emma about snail mails.