Sunday, September 29, 2013

Dear Facebook "friends"

I'm finally linking up with Jenni for her Blogtember blog challenge.  I've been wanting to say something about the posts I see on my Facebook news feed for a while now but I've never had the courage to do so.  Now Jenni has given me this opportunity by asking us to write to our Facebook friends.

Dear Facebook " friends",

I understand that your facebook account is your business and none of mine but I just wanted to let you know that sometimes or most of the time I find your posts  funny, pathetic or just plain irritating.

Don't you think it's pathetic to announce to the world almost every day how miserable you are missing someone who doesn't miss you back? Why don't you just call him and say it to him personally?  And if he doesn't respond positively to that, I think you better move on.

If you're hungry and you're craving for something, why don't you just buy it and satisfy your craving? Why do you have to let everyone know that you're hungry?

And what's this "lungkot much", "gutom much", "excited much" thing that you post on your status? Why do you have to mix Filipino and English? Why not just say, "I'm so sad", "I'm so hungry", "I'm so excited"?

If you and your parents/siblings/nieces/nephews/in-laws  have mutual admiration please don't  talk about it all the time on FB.  You obviously live together or at least have other forms of communication other than facebook.  I think a lot of the things you talk about on facebook are better discussed on your own dinner table or in the living room.  I just can't understand why you need to broadcast all of these things.

Why do you have to post all these selfie pics every day?  I can tolerate a selfie pic on my news feed once in a while but please, don't do it every day.  It makes me think you're vain.

Trust your friends' intelligence a little.  Don't you think we know how to read between the lines?  Just by reading what you have written in your status we'd already have a pretty good idea what you're feeling.  Why do you still have to put "feeling sad", "feeling hungry", "feeling determined" etc. etc. ?

And one last thing, if you cannot totally avoid it, at least lessen the grammar error.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013


It's 6:30  am.  Fort forty-five minutes before the morning assembly and still two hours before my first class.  I thought I could type some thoughts in this blog before I started working.

I'm hating this laptop as I type.  It's getting slower and slower every day.  And now it's giving me a hard time.  I don't know if my laptop is to blame or if it's blogger though.  I can see it saving this draft every five seconds and I can't type when it does that.    There, the students have arrived. So much for the peace and quiet that I was enjoying just some ten minutes ago when I started typing.

My son and I had to drag ourselves out of bed at 5 am today which was forty-five minutes earlier than our usual wake-up time.  His class is at 7 and if we left the house past 6:30, he would have been late again because of the Cubao traffic.  So now we made a promise to ourselves that we would leave the house at 6:00 or the latest at 6:15  so he could arrive on time.  I'm hoping we could do what we promised every day for the rest of the school year.  When I think about it, it's just so hard.  Oh, why is it so nice to just lie in bed in the morning?

I'm giving a short quiz to my sixth graders today and I still have to make the quiz items.  I'll go right to that after I publish this post.  Honestly, I'm still sleepy and would rather sleep.

Every day I think about our upcoming trip to Kuala Lumpur which is on the 28th of November.  It's like a wedding anniversary celebration trip.  It's just that we'd be making sure we're back on the day of the anniversary because we want to hear Mass in the church we were wed in.

I think I have to go back to my doctor tomorrow. It's been more than two weeks since my surgery and I still have pain.  Sometimes it feels like I have  my period and sometimes it's a stabbing, throbbing pain that I can't remember encountering before.  What's sad is that I have just learned there was a special leave available for me to use.  According to the magna carta for women any woman who has to have surgery due to gynecological disorders can avail of a 60-day leave and shall still receive her gross monthly compensation from her employer.  Since I was ignorant of this, I was not able to avail of it.  I went back to work last Friday. Stupid, stupid me!

So, these are my thoughts on this early Wednesday morning.   What are yours?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Love letter to my son

This post is supposedly for yesterday's Blogtember blog challenge prompt over at Story of My Life. I failed to link up last night but here I am now.

Prompt: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic)

 decided to write to my son since I have been wanting to do this for some time now.

My dear Tootsieroll,

I know you're 14 and you probably don't want me to call you by this name, specially in public (or in this case) on the worldwide web but for me, you are still my baby.

Time has flown by so quickly. I can still remember how it felt to have your little body in my arms, with you looking so sweet, helpless and just simply angelic.  I remember looking at you and thinking that I would stop at nothing just so you'd have a happy life and a bright future.

You were such a happy little baby, you filled our home with your gurgles and giggles.  Just seeing those dimpled smiles was enough to make Mommy forget the time.  As you grew into your toddler years, you continued to be a source of joy, not only to those of us at home but also to everyone you met, through your songs, dances and endless chatter. You were such an affectionate little boy who loved to give me big hugs and kisses.  You would often stop in the middle of play just to give Mommy a hug and a kiss.  Oh how I miss those days!

You could read the alphabet at age 2 and by the time you were three, you were already reading sentences. And yet all we did was to teach you your ABC's!  As you grew older, you continued to amaze me with your quick mind, excellent memory and keen attention to details.   Your teachers said that your stock knowledge and bright insights brought so much more life to class discussions which would otherwise have been so much duller had you not been around. And nobody  was prouder than I when we discovered you weren't only talented in writing and drawing, but you were also talented in music.  You are a gifted violinist who never fails to amaze audiences during recitals. I always hear whispered praises whenever you play during those occasions and it takes all of my self-control not to look around me and proudly say, "That's my son, that's my son!"

Still, as joyful as it is to be your mom, it has also been hard.  I guess motherhood is like that, a balanced blend of joys and pains, of laughter and tears, of victories and defeats.  I guess it's even harder because you are so much like me and along with my interests and positive traits, you also got the ones which I like least. You are stubborn, you insist on having your own way and you try your best to have the last word.  Now I know how it is for my mom and my dad.  I only wish that these traits will be tamed through the years just like I have tamed mine and that you will grow up to be quite a gentleman.

You have changed so much over the years.  You now have mood swings, which, I know for a fact, you didn't get from me.  You never kiss me anymore, you seldom give me a hug and  you don't want me to hold your hand.    You now insist on your own style in terms of clothing, haircut, and even in the way you pose in front of a camera.  Goodness!  Why you like to imitate old folks who used to wear straight faces in front of a camera is something that will forever be beyond me.

My dear Tootsieroll, my Mr. Toots, my big boy Manuel, we have gone through a lot.  I know I have not been the perfect mom....I've been far from it, in fact. But that doesn't mean I love you any less.  I love you more than I can ever express in my words or in my actions.  Sometimes I know I can be hard, I can be harsh. Sometimes, I get frustrated and angry. Sometimes I raise my voice or I shout. Sometimes I give punishments.  I hope you understand why I react the way I do, why I say the words I say, why I do the things I do.  It's all because I love you and I want you to be the best person you can possibly be. You have so much potential within you and I am not saying this because I am your mom. I know so because I've been around kids for years and it's my job to know these things.  I don't want you to put it all to waste. I want you to have the beautiful life God had planned for you.    I just want you to be independent. I want you to grow up to be a productive member of society, and a responsible and loving Christian.  I want you to love people and I want people to love you back.

When you were in my womb, I had so many plans for you.  I expected you to do things I could do and do them better, to do things I was never able to do due to fear and lack of confidence, to like all the things I liked. I wanted you to be the perfect me.  As it turned out, even though you are so much like me, you are,  in so  many ways, so different from me.

You are your own person.  Do everything you can to develop all your talents, capabilities and potentials.   Always challenge your mind.  Have a passion for learning.  Enhance your skills. Practice is the key.  Discover more of yourself.  Be better today than yesterday.  Eat healthy and exercise regularly. Forgive others and forgive yourself.  Don't let the past tie you down. Learn from it then move on.  Pray hard and work hard. Love God more than anyone and anything.  Give respect and always treat others with kindness, empathy and consideration. Love everyone and do not be afraid to show this love. Love yourself, be proud of who you are but be wary of unhealthy pride. Always be humble and remember that everything you have, everything you are comes from God so everything you do should be for His greater glory.  I guess if you do all these, you will be even better than who I wanted you to be when you were in my womb.   You will be the perfect you and that is so much better than the perfect me.

You will always be my baby boy no matter how many years have gone by and how many more will come and pass.  It feels good to know that I will always be the first woman you have loved. At least, that is something no girl, lady or woman can ever take away from me. :)

May the world always be kind to you.   God bless you, my son.   May the good Lord grant us many more happy decades to enjoy each other's company and may He bless you  with a long, happy, and fulfilling life.

                                                                                                                 Love always,

Here are some pictures of my son taken over the years. They are not chronological though.

My son was born in the pre-digital age so I only posted a couple of baby pictures here.

his first violin

after a music festival

I post this with the hope of my son stumbling upon it soon.  He doesn't read my blog....or at least pretends not to.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Monday Coffee with the Move to America v.1

The Move to America

This morning, I'm linking up with Molly of The Move to America.

This is the day I'll be admitted to the hospital for my medical procedure. I hope everything goes well.   I'm still a little bit nervous about it but my strength comes from my faith in God and in His promises to me, from my family and from everyone who cares for me and who  promised to pray for me --my friends, fellow bloggers and students.

I think this is one of those times when a teacher would love being a teacher -- when your students, without being prodded to say so, tell you they are going to pray for you.  It just melts my heart!

I won't be going to school this week but I'll be doing work on my laptop.  I'll be making seatworks for my students which I have to send to my area head.  Plus, I have to make a long-delayed letter to address an issue I have to address.  So, I guess it will still be a busy week for me though I'm really looking to getting a lot of rest.  Hmmmm....I wonder if I can get the rest I need to have and still do all the things I have to do.

What about you? What are you up to this week? Link up with Molly and tell us over coffee! :)

Why I had to visit my doctor

You're all probably wondering why I had several trips to the doctor last month.

Five months ago I found out that I had a polyp in my endometrium.  

My doctor said that she had to do a D&C under hysteroscopy.  That means she's going to insert a hysteroscope which is a thin tube with a camera to see where the polyp is then do a d&c.  

At first, my problem was the cost of the procedure.  She said it would cost around 80k. Since I didn't have
a health card, that was something that Ruel and I had to worry about.  We had just spent a lot on our wedding and we were not yet ready for another big expense.

I decided to seek for a second opinion.  A relative of my mom who is a surgeon at the Chinese General Hospital referred me to Dr. Patricia Tan who recommended the same thing that my first doctor did.

I finally resigned to the idea that I had to undergo the procedure.  The D&C under hysteroscopy package at the Chinese General Hospital costs only around 55k.  That's inclusive of the procedure cost, private room, and professional fees of the doctor and anesthesiologist. 

The problem was I couldn't have the procedure anytime.  I had to wait for my period and then have the procedure scheduled after the heavy flow.  The even bigger problem was that I had an irregular period. I don't really know when the next one would be and every time it came, the doctor was always not available to do the procedure because of a seminar or an out-of-town engagement.

When things like this happen to me, it's like everything comes to a halt.  I can't move on until it's over. The worst thing was, even our "operation get pregnant" was put on hold.

My last period was supposed to start on the 9th of August so when it didn't start on that day, I got all stressed out about it. I was so desperate to have my period and get everything over with that I started drinking a lot of Coke.  I was told it could trigger menstruation....and when my period still did not start, 
I resorted to drinking beer.  My friends told me beer could do it.  I drank beer twice and then finally, it came.  I don't know if it was just a coincidence or if it was really the beer's work but I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that I could finally have the procedure.

I was happy.

I decided to go back to my first doctor in Medical City, looking forward to moving on with my life with nothing to think about but regular family life with Toots and Ruel and getting pregnant.  

I was told to take some antibiotics to prepare my body and primrose oil to soften the cervix. I was also given  an informed consent form which I had to sign. 

All the risks and complications associated with hysteroscopy were there.    The rare and very rare complications were so scary that I couldn't even bring myself to talk about them with other people aside from those I was really very close to  or to write about them here.

Scared as I was, I was determined to have the procedure.  I had to undergo several tests which included ecg, x-ray, urinalysis, complete blood count, etc.  I also had to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound which did not allow my doctor to see the polyp clearly.  She recommended saline transfusion sonography which I underwent an hour later.  This was more complicated and more painful than the trans v because this procedure entailed the doctor to transfuse saline water into my uterus. I felt cramps in my uterus just like the cramps pregnant women feel when they are about to give birth.

I got the test results the next day and I was sent to another doctor  to get my clearance for the procedure. All he had to do was ask me about my test results.  Afterwhich he printed something which said that it was okay for me to have the procedure.  Imagine my surprise when I was asked to pay Ps. 2,000.00 just for that!

On the day of my admission at the hospital, my mom called me on the phone very early in the morning telling me to think twice about having the procedure. She said that I had to make sure I needed it, that I just might subject myself to an unnecessary risk, etc. etc.

So, instead of going to the hospital at 5pm for my admission, I went to my doctor's clinic early to ask her some more questions about the procedure.  My mom's advice plus the doctor's answers to my questions confused me and made me doubt my earlier decision to have the hysteroscopy.

To make the long story short, I ended up calling the doctor on the day of my admission and cancelling the scheduled procedure.

I regretted my decision the minute I placed the receiver back to its cradle and found myself going to another doctor three days after.

The new doctor was a lot older than my previous doctor but he's the head of the OB Gyne in Medical City.  There's also a calming quality about him unlike the previous doctor who just ended up scaring me.

So, this new doctor will be the one to remove the polyp on Tuesday morning. The polyp has to be biopsied afterwards. I hope they won't find anything wrong.

Please whisper a short prayer for me.  I'm still a little nervous.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A Peek at August

I did not post a lot last August as it had been a busy month for me.  Here's a peek at what happened the previous month.

       My son turned 14 and we celebrated his birthday at Shakey's.  My husband's parents and his sister's family joined us in celebrating his birthday as well as two of my son's friends and his friends' mothers.

   My mom's birthday followed after 3 days.  My sister and I treated her at Elias and she treated all of us after dinner at Magnolia Ice Cream House.

    We picked a table outside the restaurant.  What was interesting about this restaurant was that the waiters
   used names in the novel Noli Me Tangere and El Filibisterismo like Crispin, Basilio, etc.  That was    actually  the first time I realized that the restaurant's name came from Rizal's famous novel.

My high school friend came home from Singapore for a three-day vacation and she invited me and two other friends to a simple dinner at Chili's.

The next day I found myself craving for more Chilis so Ruel, my son, and my dad went to a branch to have an early dinner.

I did a lot of multi-tasking like eating out while checking students' themes.

And of course, I celebrated my birthday. Click here for more pictures on my special day.

The only problem about August was that I also spent a lot of time visiting my doctor.  I'll tell you more about that next time.

Generally, despite all the trips to the doctor, house chores and all the stress in school, August was a happy and memorable month for me and my family.