Time, don't be too much in a hurry!

This photo does not have anything to do with today's post but I'm posting it for lack of something better.

I must admit I have been delinquent with my blogging these past few months.  Honestly, it's not only with blogging I've been delinquent at, but also with taking pictures.  I don't know why or how it happened.  It's  just that  suddenly I don't look for "things" to capture anymore.

We are currently planning two trips out of the country.  I have told you how excited I was about the Hongkong trip.  It's our first family trip outside the country.  Everyone is going this time so that makes it exciting.  I was thinking of the trip earlier today, I got all excited about it again and then suddenly, I felt sad.
I wanted the months to hurry but I realized I shouldn't want them to hurry.   The days are passing by so fast as it is.  My parents are getting older and older. My husband and I are ageing so fast, Toots is growing up so fast and too soon.  I am afraid of all these changes and of all the changes that they would eventually bring.

I want to keep my parents with me.  I want Ruel and me to stay young and strong enough to work for our family.  I miss my little boy.  I miss his innocence and his joyful chatter.  I miss his sweetness.  I realize that I spent too much time with other things when I should have spent time savoring each moment I had with him when he was little.  Today I look at him and I try to see the chubby little boy I used to know and I cannot find him.  He has changed so much, not just in terms of his baby fat but also in  other aspects of his personality.   I don't want the months to pass by so quickly. I still want to enjoy Toots while he is still young. Soon, he will be in college, graduate, have a career, fall in love, get married and I won't be able to see him as often as I do today. And that scares me.

When I was younger I never felt like this.  I think this feeling is one proof I am indeed getting older.  It's true what they say, "Time is our greatest enemy."

Dear Facebook "friends"

I'm finally linking up with Jenni for her Blogtember blog challenge.  I've been wanting to say something about the posts I see on my Facebook news feed for a while now but I've never had the courage to do so.  Now Jenni has given me this opportunity by asking us to write to our Facebook friends.

Dear Facebook " friends",

I understand that your facebook account is your business and none of mine but I just wanted to let you know that sometimes or most of the time I find your posts  funny, pathetic or just plain irritating.

Don't you think it's pathetic to announce to the world almost every day how miserable you are missing someone who doesn't miss you back? Why don't you just call him and say it to him personally?  And if he doesn't respond positively to that, I think you better move on.

If you're hungry and you're craving for something, why don't you just buy it and satisfy your craving? Why do you have to let everyone know that you're hungry?

And what's this "lungkot much", "gutom much", "excited much" thing that you post on your status? Why do you have to mix Filipino and English? Why not just say, "I'm so sad", "I'm so hungry", "I'm so excited"?

If you and your parents/siblings/nieces/nephews/in-laws  have mutual admiration please don't  talk about it all the time on FB.  You obviously live together or at least have other forms of communication other than facebook.  I think a lot of the things you talk about on facebook are better discussed on your own dinner table or in the living room.  I just can't understand why you need to broadcast all of these things.

Why do you have to post all these selfie pics every day?  I can tolerate a selfie pic on my news feed once in a while but please, don't do it every day.  It makes me think you're vain.

Trust your friends' intelligence a little.  Don't you think we know how to read between the lines?  Just by reading what you have written in your status we'd already have a pretty good idea what you're feeling.  Why do you still have to put "feeling sad", "feeling hungry", "feeling determined" etc. etc. ?

And one last thing, if you cannot totally avoid it, at least lessen the grammar error.

Thinking

It's 6:30  am.  Fort forty-five minutes before the morning assembly and still two hours before my first class.  I thought I could type some thoughts in this blog before I started working.

I'm hating this laptop as I type.  It's getting slower and slower every day.  And now it's giving me a hard time.  I don't know if my laptop is to blame or if it's blogger though.  I can see it saving this draft every five seconds and I can't type when it does that.    There, the students have arrived. So much for the peace and quiet that I was enjoying just some ten minutes ago when I started typing.

My son and I had to drag ourselves out of bed at 5 am today which was forty-five minutes earlier than our usual wake-up time.  His class is at 7 and if we left the house past 6:30, he would have been late again because of the Cubao traffic.  So now we made a promise to ourselves that we would leave the house at 6:00 or the latest at 6:15  so he could arrive on time.  I'm hoping we could do what we promised every day for the rest of the school year.  When I think about it, it's just so hard.  Oh, why is it so nice to just lie in bed in the morning?

I'm giving a short quiz to my sixth graders today and I still have to make the quiz items.  I'll go right to that after I publish this post.  Honestly, I'm still sleepy and would rather sleep.

Every day I think about our upcoming trip to Kuala Lumpur which is on the 28th of November.  It's like a wedding anniversary celebration trip.  It's just that we'd be making sure we're back on the day of the anniversary because we want to hear Mass in the church we were wed in.

I think I have to go back to my doctor tomorrow. It's been more than two weeks since my surgery and I still have pain.  Sometimes it feels like I have  my period and sometimes it's a stabbing, throbbing pain that I can't remember encountering before.  What's sad is that I have just learned there was a special leave available for me to use.  According to the magna carta for women any woman who has to have surgery due to gynecological disorders can avail of a 60-day leave and shall still receive her gross monthly compensation from her employer.  Since I was ignorant of this, I was not able to avail of it.  I went back to work last Friday. Stupid, stupid me!

So, these are my thoughts on this early Wednesday morning.   What are yours?

Love letter to my son

This post is supposedly for yesterday's Blogtember blog challenge prompt over at Story of My Life. I failed to link up last night but here I am now.

Prompt: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic)

 decided to write to my son since I have been wanting to do this for some time now.


My dear Tootsieroll,

I know you're 14 and you probably don't want me to call you by this name, specially in public (or in this case) on the worldwide web but for me, you are still my baby.

Time has flown by so quickly. I can still remember how it felt to have your little body in my arms, with you looking so sweet, helpless and just simply angelic.  I remember looking at you and thinking that I would stop at nothing just so you'd have a happy life and a bright future.

You were such a happy little baby, you filled our home with your gurgles and giggles.  Just seeing those dimpled smiles was enough to make Mommy forget the time.  As you grew into your toddler years, you continued to be a source of joy, not only to those of us at home but also to everyone you met, through your songs, dances and endless chatter. You were such an affectionate little boy who loved to give me big hugs and kisses.  You would often stop in the middle of play just to give Mommy a hug and a kiss.  Oh how I miss those days!

You could read the alphabet at age 2 and by the time you were three, you were already reading sentences. And yet all we did was to teach you your ABC's!  As you grew older, you continued to amaze me with your quick mind, excellent memory and keen attention to details.   Your teachers said that your stock knowledge and bright insights brought so much more life to class discussions which would otherwise have been so much duller had you not been around. And nobody  was prouder than I when we discovered you weren't only talented in writing and drawing, but you were also talented in music.  You are a gifted violinist who never fails to amaze audiences during recitals. I always hear whispered praises whenever you play during those occasions and it takes all of my self-control not to look around me and proudly say, "That's my son, that's my son!"

Still, as joyful as it is to be your mom, it has also been hard.  I guess motherhood is like that, a balanced blend of joys and pains, of laughter and tears, of victories and defeats.  I guess it's even harder because you are so much like me and along with my interests and positive traits, you also got the ones which I like least. You are stubborn, you insist on having your own way and you try your best to have the last word.  Now I know how it is for my mom and my dad.  I only wish that these traits will be tamed through the years just like I have tamed mine and that you will grow up to be quite a gentleman.

You have changed so much over the years.  You now have mood swings, which, I know for a fact, you didn't get from me.  You never kiss me anymore, you seldom give me a hug and  you don't want me to hold your hand.    You now insist on your own style in terms of clothing, haircut, and even in the way you pose in front of a camera.  Goodness!  Why you like to imitate old folks who used to wear straight faces in front of a camera is something that will forever be beyond me.

My dear Tootsieroll, my Mr. Toots, my big boy Manuel, we have gone through a lot.  I know I have not been the perfect mom....I've been far from it, in fact. But that doesn't mean I love you any less.  I love you more than I can ever express in my words or in my actions.  Sometimes I know I can be hard, I can be harsh. Sometimes, I get frustrated and angry. Sometimes I raise my voice or I shout. Sometimes I give punishments.  I hope you understand why I react the way I do, why I say the words I say, why I do the things I do.  It's all because I love you and I want you to be the best person you can possibly be. You have so much potential within you and I am not saying this because I am your mom. I know so because I've been around kids for years and it's my job to know these things.  I don't want you to put it all to waste. I want you to have the beautiful life God had planned for you.    I just want you to be independent. I want you to grow up to be a productive member of society, and a responsible and loving Christian.  I want you to love people and I want people to love you back.

When you were in my womb, I had so many plans for you.  I expected you to do things I could do and do them better, to do things I was never able to do due to fear and lack of confidence, to like all the things I liked. I wanted you to be the perfect me.  As it turned out, even though you are so much like me, you are,  in so  many ways, so different from me.

You are your own person.  Do everything you can to develop all your talents, capabilities and potentials.   Always challenge your mind.  Have a passion for learning.  Enhance your skills. Practice is the key.  Discover more of yourself.  Be better today than yesterday.  Eat healthy and exercise regularly. Forgive others and forgive yourself.  Don't let the past tie you down. Learn from it then move on.  Pray hard and work hard. Love God more than anyone and anything.  Give respect and always treat others with kindness, empathy and consideration. Love everyone and do not be afraid to show this love. Love yourself, be proud of who you are but be wary of unhealthy pride. Always be humble and remember that everything you have, everything you are comes from God so everything you do should be for His greater glory.  I guess if you do all these, you will be even better than who I wanted you to be when you were in my womb.   You will be the perfect you and that is so much better than the perfect me.

You will always be my baby boy no matter how many years have gone by and how many more will come and pass.  It feels good to know that I will always be the first woman you have loved. At least, that is something no girl, lady or woman can ever take away from me. :)

May the world always be kind to you.   God bless you, my son.   May the good Lord grant us many more happy decades to enjoy each other's company and may He bless you  with a long, happy, and fulfilling life.

                                                                                                                 Love always,
                                                                                                                 Mommy

Here are some pictures of my son taken over the years. They are not chronological though.

My son was born in the pre-digital age so I only posted a couple of baby pictures here.

his first violin

after a music festival

I post this with the hope of my son stumbling upon it soon.  He doesn't read my blog....or at least pretends not to.

A Peek at August

I did not post a lot last August as it had been a busy month for me.  Here's a peek at what happened the previous month.

       My son turned 14 and we celebrated his birthday at Shakey's.  My husband's parents and his sister's family joined us in celebrating his birthday as well as two of my son's friends and his friends' mothers.

   My mom's birthday followed after 3 days.  My sister and I treated her at Elias and she treated all of us after dinner at Magnolia Ice Cream House.

    We picked a table outside the restaurant.  What was interesting about this restaurant was that the waiters
   used names in the novel Noli Me Tangere and El Filibisterismo like Crispin, Basilio, etc.  That was    actually  the first time I realized that the restaurant's name came from Rizal's famous novel.

My high school friend came home from Singapore for a three-day vacation and she invited me and two other friends to a simple dinner at Chili's.

The next day I found myself craving for more Chilis so Ruel, my son, and my dad went to a branch to have an early dinner.

I did a lot of multi-tasking like eating out while checking students' themes.

And of course, I celebrated my birthday. Click here for more pictures on my special day.

The only problem about August was that I also spent a lot of time visiting my doctor.  I'll tell you more about that next time.

Generally, despite all the trips to the doctor, house chores and all the stress in school, August was a happy and memorable month for me and my family.

Celebrating almost 40 years of God's graces

Last Monday, I celebrated my birthday as Mrs. Remo for the first time.

As always, Ruel tried his best to make my birthday extra special.

First, I thought I wouldn't get anything anymore on my birthday because he gave my birthday gift three weeks early--the Coach bag that I showed you last time.  I was wrong.  He still gave me another gift...a light pink Lacoste top which he gave me two days before my birthday.

On Sunday, August 25, a day before my birthday, we had a simple celebration in Bulacan with his parents.  Then in the evening, we had dinner with my family  Kogi Bulgogi, a Korean restaurant in Libis -- still his treat.  

Whoah! Don't I look pregnant here? I hope that's a sign!

my sister's family in front of Kogi

My family

 

                                                                                And this is our family

                                         enjoying a cup of sweet drink after dinner


On the day of my birthday, we went out for ice cream and Ruel bought me a Tiramisu cake which was just super.

I had a really happy birthday.  The fact that I went to school on a national holiday (which incidentally was also my birthday) for a seminar that was cancelled at the last minute without my knowledge, was not enough to dampen my spirits.

So, anyway, I am filled with gratitude for all the blessings and graces that God has bestowed on me for almost 40 years.    I realized that despite all  the trials I've had, I can still say that I have lived a charmed life compared to most people I know.  I praise and thank God for HIS goodness and love.  Most of all, I thank Him for all the people I care for and who care about me.  They are, after all, my greatest blessings.

Lucky to have him

I must admit that there are times I still act like a child.

Ruel, Toots and I were on our way to Bulacan to visit Ruel's parents this morning when we stopped at a drugstore to buy some medicine.

Ruel found an ice cream station and asked me if I wanted some Magnum.  I said no.  He reasoned that they would give us a free notebook if we bought three.

I needed a meeting notebook so I agreed.

When the ice cream and the notebook were given to us, my son took the notebook and there, I decided (well, not intentionally) to act like a 14-year-old.  

My son and I started arguing about who should have the notebook.  He said he was going to use it for drawing and I told him I would just buy him a drawing notebook. Still, he wouldn't give in. He complained that drawing notebooks didn't have hard covers.  

So Ruel said he would just buy me a notebook.  I argued that unlined notebooks like the free one they gave were rare.  

My 14-year-old son and I continued to have our debate for at least 20 minutes.

Upon reaching another gas station, Ruel stopped to look for an ice cream station.  When he came back, he had ice cream for the three of us and a notebook for me!  Awwww!  Isn't my husband so sweet?

Yes, I am ashamed of my behavior and I shouldn't be writing about it.  But you wouldn't know how great my husband is if I didn't.

So that's what today's post is all about....my husband putting up with my childishness and him making sure I am happy all the time.

Am I lucky or what?

Firsts

I am failing.

I set two challenges for myself this August -- to lose 20 pounds and to blog every day.

I have been eating a lot lately....thanks to the birthday of my son and all the leftovers.  Today, we went to the bookstore to buy a periodic table after classes and Ruel asked if I wanted some ice cream from DQ. I said no.  But the minute I saw his ice cream cone, my resolve melted faster than his ice cream did.

I did not post anything for two days in a row.  I've been busy with making exams for the kids and with my son's birthday.  I knew nobody was waiting for the linky so it was fine and there was no pressure for me to post anything.

I'm now forcing myself to post something in between chores.

Day 5: First

On the day after our wedding, we woke up to this -- our first sunrise.

first trip to Starbucks as a married couple (the night after our wedding)

                                                        first ice cream cone as husband and wife

                                                        first movie together as husband and wife


And we're still collecting firsts.

Counting Blessings

I was recently reminded that I have been given so much. Indeed, there are so many things I have to be thankful for. Bear with me as I count my blessings.

Warning: long post with a lot of self-affirmations ahead.

my parents

I was blessed with loving parents who never gave up on me.  They provided for all my needs and tried hard to provide my wants.  They never abandoned me even during times I was unlovable.

my grandparents

My grandparents were sweet and loving and totally adored me! Because of them I grew up believing I was beautiful!

My grandparents together with my mom, my aunt and my uncle.

My beautiful grandmother

my sister

I have been rather sad lately because my sister and I are not as close as we used to be. However, I'm still happy God gave me my sister.  God knew I needed someone to play with, to laugh with,  to sing with, to share my secrets with, so He gave her to me.   Though I used to pull her hair when I was four and she was two and she used to bite me, we still grew up as close as two sisters could get.

That's my sister wearing the blue slipper.

Just before we left for school. I was 13 and she was 11.

My sister in plaid.

She's the one in pink.

my son

My son was born strong, healthy and smiling.  He smiled at his doctor and showed a dimple on one cheek.  When the doctor brought him out of the delivery room to show him to my family, he smiled at my dad and showed two dimples, one on each cheek!

He was a happy baby, full of life, sweet and affectionate.  He entertained us and even crowds of strangers with his songs and dance.  He learned his ABC's when he was one and a half.  He could sing Ikaw Lang ang Mamahalin from start to finish when he was two and he could hit all the right notes too! He learned to read sentences when he was three.  He wrote his first story when he was five. He made his first comic book when he was six.  He plays the violin excellently.  He can play a musical piece just by listening to it.  He now plays in church.  

After a music festival

Please find time to listen to my son play.  I want to share his music to the world.  You won't regret clicking the play button.
 This was taken a year and a half ago.

My is also good in drawing.

The Blessed Virgin, done when he was eight.

Ruel

He is really Godsend.  He has waited for me for so long and never gave up on me.  He is the most loving man I have ever met, aside from my dad and my grandpa.  He always thinks of my welfare, as well as my son's.  He thinks of my parents' welfare as well.  He is sweet and thoughtful and very principled.  He makes me very happy and I cannot wait to be his wife.

I don't think I can find a better man.  He is my superman!

I have been blessed with friends who are out of the country but I know for certain that they will always be there for me when I need them.  

Tina, Renan, Jen O, Maike, thank you!

I have been blessed with friends in school, in and outside our department, you know who you are.

Thank you.

My Sunlife friends, Myla and Lalaine...they know me inside out and love me just the same!

My fellow Brigadoonians who have made me feel so young the past months, thank you.

Jen T.

Jen was my college best friend. We did everything together, giggled and laughed about everything.   We shared a passion for writing to our penfriends all across the globe. Our biggest problem was how to talk to boys!  

We do not see each other as often as we used to but whenever we do, it's like nothing has changed. She is still the same old Jen I know who listens to me ramble on and on and who loves watching people.

Jen is the one in blue. This was taken when we were both 18.

Ate Lyn

She is a cousin I wasn't close to growing up but who is now like a sister to me.

Ate Bing

my cousin and my playmate

                                                              Fidel

He was my first, the father of my son. I would have had a different son if it had not been for him. In our years together there were good moments and those were blessings.  There were also bad moments and I still consider them blessings....in disguise.  

Mrs. Cellona

My grade four teacher who took notice of a shy girl.

Mr. Antonio

My Philosophy of Man teacher who believed in me and gave me the confidence I needed. He was also the one who taught me to appreciate the fundamental goodness of man and planted in me a certain hunger to become fully and truly human.

This has gotten way so long but I am still counting my blessings and I thank those who are still reading at this point.

Now let's go to me....

I have a quick, analytical mind.

I can write poems and stories.

I can write to inspire and to convince.

I can also make people laugh.

I enjoy dancing and God gave me the ability to dance.  I'm not saying I'm excellent at it, but people say I am graceful  so I guess that's good enough for me.

I can act.

I have been given plenty of opportunities to do the things I love to do.

I'm short and I cannot join beauty pageants but...

God allowed me to join one...and I earned a place too!

I'm not a good singer but....

I sang plenty of times in a choir and in front of an audience.

I wanted to be a movie actress but I did not become one.

However, God gave me the chance to act in a play.

Somehow I always get what  I want when I put my mind to it.

My students always win in contests whenever I help them.

My face is not the kind of face that stops people and makes them turn around but....

some people actually think I'm pretty.

AND my face really looks good in pictures.

I never needed a dentist to put braces on my teeth but people have always complimented me on my teeth.

I love Zambales mangoes and God gave us a small mango farm.

I almost died of dengue hemorrhageic fever when I was 18...

I told God, it was ok to take me but then I was so sad because I had never fallen in love yet.

And God allowed me to live.

And allowed me to fall in love, again and again...and again.

I asked God to send me someone, someone I can love and who will love me and my son.

He gave me Ruel.

We are getting married in December.

I am short and small in frame.

But I have learned to accept it, am confident despite of it and consider it as a blessing in disguise.

It actually allows me to move thru crowds quickly.

I prayed for a Church annulment of my marriage and it was granted.

I have everything I need.

I have been blessed with a Catholic faith.

I have a good foundation of my faith.

God protects me and my loved ones always. He keeps us away from harm and sickness.

I have so many other blessings that I probably have not mentioned here.

I have always wanted to have a lovely voice....

But God did not give it to me.

Probably, He was thinking I already had enough.

Hahaha!

I am loved and valued by people who matter.

So thank you, God, for everything. Please continue to bless me and my loved ones always.

I have certainly been blessed with so much.

I am blessed with this blog and with people who read it.

I hope they  will also start counting their blessings.