Christmas Recap

Another Christmas has come and gone. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with your family.

I did.  We had a blessed Christmas.  We were all happy and healthy.  Noche Buena was filled with good food which was mostly prepared by me and was shared together with my parents and my sister's family. 

After eating our Noche Buena feast, we all gathered around the tree and distributed and opened our gifts.

I got makeup from my parents, a top from my sister, a tablet case from my son and a surprise gift from Hunny Bed.  It was indeed a surprise because I already opened a present from him a week before Christmas....a tablet which I usually use for playing games and reading ebooks. 

So I was really surprised when my parents told me that the box with the pretty bow was mine.  

It felt as if Santa came and left me with what I wished for....it was a DLSR camera with matching tripod! See, what a sweet husband I have...always wanting to make me happy!

Hunny Bed and I gave my son what he wished for:  a book entitled: How to Write Comics by Stan Lee. What he wasn't counting on was the Superman flash disk, a collared shirt and a long sleeved shirt which I know I will have a hard time making him wear.

That was Noche Buena.  Christmas Day began with a celebration of the Holy Mass.  We brought my son to his dad's place in Makati and went to have lunch with my in-laws in Bulacan afterwards.  

It was a happy day because I know we made four other people happy....my son and his dad and my in-laws.

New Year's Eve was a bit different this year because we spent it together with my parents and my in-laws.

After the celebration of the Holy Mass in the morning, we had a late lunch at The Fort with my sister's family.

I guess it's really hard to keep family together during the holidays when the children are all married.  You'd have to make compromises on where to celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  It becomes even more difficult if you have a child from a previous marriage. But if you really value family togetherness during the season, you'd always find a way to celebrate the holidays together.

Here are some pics taken yesterday.  Enjoy!

A Christmas Resolution

Christmas and everything that comes with it -- the food, reunions with family and friends, the lights, the decors, the carols, the gifts are so hard to resist for me and surely for most people. 

Whether we like it or not, when you're drawn to all these things, you could easily become a victim of Christmas commercialism....and that's actually what happened to me!

I don't know why and I don't know how, but I ended up spending all my salary and and all my 13th month pay in a span of three weeks!  No matter how many times I try to compute my expenses, I still end up not knowing where the rest of my money went.

It's frustrating to buy gifts and have to think of the financial situation of the recipient.  What's ironic is that, I always end up giving something expensive to the one who can afford it, and giving something that's affordable to the person who's not usually able to afford expensive things.  Come to think of it, it should be the other way around. 

What's more is that, I always try to match the amount that I think my husband is going to spend for my gift, even though I know that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to match it because he earns several times more than  I do.

So now, two days before Christmas, I'm broke....and if I don't stop thinking about it, I'm going to have a terrible headache.  I have pondered about it, and I have reflected on it and I have come to a decision.  

Next Christmas, I would try my best to give nicer things to those who can't usually afford them and to only give what I can afford.  After all, the essence of giving is not in the price of the gift but in the thought, love and care that went into choosing and buying the gift.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Taking Stock

I found this idea on Pip's blog. It looked fun so I decided to make one myself.

Making: a script for the field demonstration
Drinking: tea
Reading: The Christmas Ball
Wanting: a new camera and pants that fit
Looking: for more nice things to give this Christmas
Wasting: time
Wishing: for a baby girl
Enjoying: my new tablet
Waiting: for my salary
Liking: telenovelas
Wondering: what I'll get for Christmas
Loving: kindle
Hoping: I'll finish everything on time
Needing: more than just two weeks of Christmas break
Smelling: like Clinique in Bloom
Wearing: a thin sundress
Following: tight schedules
Noticing: the photographer my sister hired for my nephew's birthday party didn't take any shot of me
Knowing: I'm loved
Thinking: I should be working now
Feeling: tired but wonderful

Now, time to work!

A year and a day ago

There are so many things I want to tell you today but I'm afraid some of them have to wait.

Today I am just going to tell you about how my Hunny Bed and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary.
I've actually been waiting for it like crazy ever since he and I got married.  I wanted to go back to attend the Mass at the church where we were wed, and I wanted to sleep in the same room where we spent our first night.  I wanted to feel what I felt that day and the morning after.  Unfortunately, because of some events that happened, which I am going to tell you sometime soon, our wedding anniversary didn't go as I had planned.

Still, it was a special day which started quite late because we were too tired from our trip back to the Philippines the previous night.

We had Contis cake for breakfast. Yes, I know it's weird but we are, in our own different ways, weird.

Mom and Dad's gift to us

After breakfast, which should have been called brunch if it didn't consist of only cake, we drove to Tagaytay.

On our way there, we exchanged  gifts and look what Ruel gave me!

     Here we are at the church where we were wed.

Then we had lunch at Josephine's at around 2:30 pm.

A year and a day ago Hunny Bed and I said our I do's, promising to love each other forever.  As we start another year, I pray that God continues to protect and bless us, Toots and all our loved ones.  May He grant us with a strong and healthy baby girl of our own and give us many years of love and bliss.

Physically well, emotionally disturbed, feeling blessed

There had been times in the past when I would often complain about my situation or what I didn't have.

I remember times when I would look at other people and wish that I was just as tall, just as pretty, just as smart, just as rich or that my life was just as simple.

However, in the recent years, I have found myself counting my blessings more and appreciating my  life more. I guess it's not just because I am now older and wiser, but also because of all the things that had been happening in the past few years.

Just recently, thousands of my countrymen experienced different calamaties, both natural and man-made and they all happened one after the other, with just a week or so in between.  The most recent one was the super typhoon that hit Tacloban and other nearby provinces.

I'm sorry if I do not give much information here. Most of the time, I get too paranoid to even mention the things I fear the most.....and this is one of those times.   It's just that everything had been terrible. I do not know how the victims  of the different calamities will start over.  I'm afraid to watch the news or to look at the pictures on the internet.  I'm always afraid to go out of the house. I always want my loved ones within my eyesight.

But even if I feel this way, mixed in with the feelings of  anxiety, fear and depression, is a feeling of gratitude for all the blessings God has bestowed upon me and all of my loved ones.  I feel so unworthy and undeserving but I thank Him with all my heart for every little blessing, every breath, every joy, every victory (no matter how small and irrelevant) that He has blessed me and is continuing to bless me and all my loved ones with.

To all of you who read this blog and who've been worried about me, I want you to know that I am okay that with the grace of God all my loved ones are safe and well.

In the light of the recent events, let me share with you some pictures taken last Saturday.

my son, talking with one of our fellow volunteers

my boys resting after some heavy lifting

 These pictures were taken at San Carlos Seminary where donations are accepted and repacked for shipping.

So you see, dear friends, I am okay, all of my loved ones are.  God is so good!

Thank you very much for your concern.  A lot of countries have sent and are still sending help, so to the readers of this blog who are from these countries-- USA, UK, France, Japan, Germany,Israel, and all the others, thank you very much for your generosity to our countrymen.

God is great and may He continue to bless us and keep us all safe.

Broccoli recipe and a hammer

In my quest to get pregnant ASAP, I have decided to change my diet.  I'm staying away from chips and too much salt.  I'm eating seeds, nuts, cheese and greens.  Today, I cooked broccoli for dinner.  I sauteed lots of garlic in olive oil and butter, added previously boiled potatoes,  broccoli, chopped parsely and a pinch of salt.  Yummy!

I read somewhere that broccoli and spinach are good for women who want to get pregnant so tomorrow I'm cooking spinach for lunch!  I figured if pills alone can't help me, maybe a change in diet can, along with lots of prayers, of course!

Before I go, I just want to show you my son's latest treasure...

It's a flash disk that looks like Thor's hammer. At least, that's what I call it.  Toots told me that it has a name. It's hard to pronounce and I bet it's even harder to spell so I'll just call it what I want to call it.  Anyway, Ruel bought it for him during our side trip to Jollibee when we went out for grocery shopping this afternoon. Toots  loves it though it doesn't look that way in the pic. My son has issues with having his picture taken. :(

Honestly, I also love the hammer but I'm just too old for it.

Okay, time to stop typing and hit the sack.  I realized I ought to change my bedtime schedule too!

Sunday Photos

Today we heard heard Mass at the Chapel of San Pedro Calungsod located on the rooftop of SM Aura.

We weren't really planning to hear Mass there, having planned to attend the evening Mass at our parish church but when we went to SM Aura in the morning, and we learned that there was a chapel, we decided to look for the chapel and see if there was still enough space for us. Since we were early, there was a lot.

We got there 20 minutes before the start of the celebration and aside from two other people, only the choir members were seated at the time.

Our decision to hear Mass there proved to be right.  The celebration was solemn. The sound system was excellent and the priest's homily was nice and clear.


Here are some photos taken outside the chapel.

My boys enjoying the view...

            

                        Here's what we had for lunch,

dessert 

and for snacks.

You all know how much I love Christmas and everything that goes with it.  I just have to have my picture taken in front of every Christmas tree I see.  

This was my Sunday.  How was yours?

What I Did Today

We started our day early.  First on the itinerary was a trip to the Women's Health and Wellness Center at the Medical City for my ultrasound.  Again, they measured my uterine lining and follicles.  Unfortunately, my follicles were still developing.  This is so disappointing because I was already in the late stage of my cycle.  My doctor said we can't release the egg yet.  I have to continue taking my hormones and I'm due for another ultrasound on the 4th of November.

Good thing we finished our trip to the doctor early.  We had plenty of time left to go to Fully Booked at The Fort. They were having their Free Comic Book Day and Toots wanted to visit that branch because he said they were giving away three comic book per person unlike other branches that give away only one comic book per person.

Aside from the free comic books there were also big discounts on comic books.  My hunny bed, Ruel, and Toots ended up buying some additions to their loot.  I wanted to buy a book but it wasn't in my budget.  Fortunately, Ruel bought me what I'd been eyeing...

I usually go for romance books, chick lit, good old classics, historical fiction or mystery thrillers but when I read the reviews and some parts of the book, I thought it was interesting so I decided to take a risk on it hoping it might turn out to be a nice change.

Oh, and look who we bumped into...

I suggested he raise his cape like that. :)

There was an unusual excitement in the air at The Fort today, probably because they were entertaining trick or treaters.  There were mascots too , I recognized them from TV but didn't know their names since I didn't watch cartoons anymore.

What I do get to watch is The Walking Dead because Ruel loves the show. So, I got all excited when I saw this...

Okay, I was smiling in that photo, I was too excited.  I had to get Ruel to take another shot.  I desperately wanted to act.

I guess I still look like I'm smiling here.  Maybe I'll go back and have Ruel take another shot of me with the zombie.

What did you do today?

Time, don't be too much in a hurry!

This photo does not have anything to do with today's post but I'm posting it for lack of something better.

I must admit I have been delinquent with my blogging these past few months.  Honestly, it's not only with blogging I've been delinquent at, but also with taking pictures.  I don't know why or how it happened.  It's  just that  suddenly I don't look for "things" to capture anymore.

We are currently planning two trips out of the country.  I have told you how excited I was about the Hongkong trip.  It's our first family trip outside the country.  Everyone is going this time so that makes it exciting.  I was thinking of the trip earlier today, I got all excited about it again and then suddenly, I felt sad.
I wanted the months to hurry but I realized I shouldn't want them to hurry.   The days are passing by so fast as it is.  My parents are getting older and older. My husband and I are ageing so fast, Toots is growing up so fast and too soon.  I am afraid of all these changes and of all the changes that they would eventually bring.

I want to keep my parents with me.  I want Ruel and me to stay young and strong enough to work for our family.  I miss my little boy.  I miss his innocence and his joyful chatter.  I miss his sweetness.  I realize that I spent too much time with other things when I should have spent time savoring each moment I had with him when he was little.  Today I look at him and I try to see the chubby little boy I used to know and I cannot find him.  He has changed so much, not just in terms of his baby fat but also in  other aspects of his personality.   I don't want the months to pass by so quickly. I still want to enjoy Toots while he is still young. Soon, he will be in college, graduate, have a career, fall in love, get married and I won't be able to see him as often as I do today. And that scares me.

When I was younger I never felt like this.  I think this feeling is one proof I am indeed getting older.  It's true what they say, "Time is our greatest enemy."

What happened in September

Since I didn't get to post much this September, let's all have a look back at some of the things that happened last month.

I finally had my surgical procedure.  I think this pic was taken after the surgery.

This was my breakfast the day after the procedure.  To be honest, I enjoyed it.  I fasted for 15 hours before the procedure and didn't eat till five hours after the procedure.  So, even if I already had dinner the night before I still felt famished the following morning.

Multitasking a week after surgery: breakfast at Starbucks, making my lesson plan and waiting for my doctor's clinic to open.

I couldn't resist taking a pic  of this blackboard.  I got a very warm welcome from my students and when I entered I saw this.  Since I wasn't their adviser, their gesture touched me so.  It seemed they missed me after two weeks of not seeing me in school.

Dinner with a former co-teacher at Ramen Bar.  Had so much fun just chatting and catching up!

One would think that the hardest thing I  did last September was to undergo the surgical procedure.  Surprisingly it wasn't.

Last Friday, my son went on an out-of-town field trip.  At first, I couldn't decide whether to allow him or not.  They were going to Mt. Makiling and go trekking there. I didn't exactly know how far up the mount they would go plus I searched about the place online and I read that there were snakes and a lot of leeches there. The fact that the weather forecast was not a good one made everything worse. I was afraid of landslides and flashfloods which I read often happened where they were going.  My son was also not the athletic type  having been raised mostly by women.  I was afraid he wasn't strong enough, not ready to go out there on his own yet, etc. etc.

In the end I knew I had to let him go so he could experience going out of town with his friends the way I did when I was his age.   I wanted him to enjoy what his other classmates were bound to enjoy and so I let him go.  And that was the hardest thing I did last month and probably the hardest I have ever done since the time he was born.  

I know mothers would agree with me when I say that letting your kids go is never easy.  We are so used to just being there for them, always making sure that they are safe and protected.  But there will always come a time when you know you  have to let them go and let them explore the world on their own, when you know you have to let them make their own mistakes, allow them to stumble a little so that they could be stronger.  And when that time comes it would be so hard you could get a headache from thinking about it but you'd have to do it anyway because you know it would be the right thing to do for your child.  

That's exactly what happened to me.  I just resigned myself to the reality that my boy is now fourteen and that I needed to trust his ability to take care of himself.  I trusted him ( I had to) and I trusted God to take care of him.  

He enjoyed his trip and came back home to me safe and sound.  God is good!  

Dear Facebook "friends"

I'm finally linking up with Jenni for her Blogtember blog challenge.  I've been wanting to say something about the posts I see on my Facebook news feed for a while now but I've never had the courage to do so.  Now Jenni has given me this opportunity by asking us to write to our Facebook friends.

Dear Facebook " friends",

I understand that your facebook account is your business and none of mine but I just wanted to let you know that sometimes or most of the time I find your posts  funny, pathetic or just plain irritating.

Don't you think it's pathetic to announce to the world almost every day how miserable you are missing someone who doesn't miss you back? Why don't you just call him and say it to him personally?  And if he doesn't respond positively to that, I think you better move on.

If you're hungry and you're craving for something, why don't you just buy it and satisfy your craving? Why do you have to let everyone know that you're hungry?

And what's this "lungkot much", "gutom much", "excited much" thing that you post on your status? Why do you have to mix Filipino and English? Why not just say, "I'm so sad", "I'm so hungry", "I'm so excited"?

If you and your parents/siblings/nieces/nephews/in-laws  have mutual admiration please don't  talk about it all the time on FB.  You obviously live together or at least have other forms of communication other than facebook.  I think a lot of the things you talk about on facebook are better discussed on your own dinner table or in the living room.  I just can't understand why you need to broadcast all of these things.

Why do you have to post all these selfie pics every day?  I can tolerate a selfie pic on my news feed once in a while but please, don't do it every day.  It makes me think you're vain.

Trust your friends' intelligence a little.  Don't you think we know how to read between the lines?  Just by reading what you have written in your status we'd already have a pretty good idea what you're feeling.  Why do you still have to put "feeling sad", "feeling hungry", "feeling determined" etc. etc. ?

And one last thing, if you cannot totally avoid it, at least lessen the grammar error.

Thinking

It's 6:30  am.  Fort forty-five minutes before the morning assembly and still two hours before my first class.  I thought I could type some thoughts in this blog before I started working.

I'm hating this laptop as I type.  It's getting slower and slower every day.  And now it's giving me a hard time.  I don't know if my laptop is to blame or if it's blogger though.  I can see it saving this draft every five seconds and I can't type when it does that.    There, the students have arrived. So much for the peace and quiet that I was enjoying just some ten minutes ago when I started typing.

My son and I had to drag ourselves out of bed at 5 am today which was forty-five minutes earlier than our usual wake-up time.  His class is at 7 and if we left the house past 6:30, he would have been late again because of the Cubao traffic.  So now we made a promise to ourselves that we would leave the house at 6:00 or the latest at 6:15  so he could arrive on time.  I'm hoping we could do what we promised every day for the rest of the school year.  When I think about it, it's just so hard.  Oh, why is it so nice to just lie in bed in the morning?

I'm giving a short quiz to my sixth graders today and I still have to make the quiz items.  I'll go right to that after I publish this post.  Honestly, I'm still sleepy and would rather sleep.

Every day I think about our upcoming trip to Kuala Lumpur which is on the 28th of November.  It's like a wedding anniversary celebration trip.  It's just that we'd be making sure we're back on the day of the anniversary because we want to hear Mass in the church we were wed in.

I think I have to go back to my doctor tomorrow. It's been more than two weeks since my surgery and I still have pain.  Sometimes it feels like I have  my period and sometimes it's a stabbing, throbbing pain that I can't remember encountering before.  What's sad is that I have just learned there was a special leave available for me to use.  According to the magna carta for women any woman who has to have surgery due to gynecological disorders can avail of a 60-day leave and shall still receive her gross monthly compensation from her employer.  Since I was ignorant of this, I was not able to avail of it.  I went back to work last Friday. Stupid, stupid me!

So, these are my thoughts on this early Wednesday morning.   What are yours?

Love letter to my son

This post is supposedly for yesterday's Blogtember blog challenge prompt over at Story of My Life. I failed to link up last night but here I am now.

Prompt: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic)

 decided to write to my son since I have been wanting to do this for some time now.


My dear Tootsieroll,

I know you're 14 and you probably don't want me to call you by this name, specially in public (or in this case) on the worldwide web but for me, you are still my baby.

Time has flown by so quickly. I can still remember how it felt to have your little body in my arms, with you looking so sweet, helpless and just simply angelic.  I remember looking at you and thinking that I would stop at nothing just so you'd have a happy life and a bright future.

You were such a happy little baby, you filled our home with your gurgles and giggles.  Just seeing those dimpled smiles was enough to make Mommy forget the time.  As you grew into your toddler years, you continued to be a source of joy, not only to those of us at home but also to everyone you met, through your songs, dances and endless chatter. You were such an affectionate little boy who loved to give me big hugs and kisses.  You would often stop in the middle of play just to give Mommy a hug and a kiss.  Oh how I miss those days!

You could read the alphabet at age 2 and by the time you were three, you were already reading sentences. And yet all we did was to teach you your ABC's!  As you grew older, you continued to amaze me with your quick mind, excellent memory and keen attention to details.   Your teachers said that your stock knowledge and bright insights brought so much more life to class discussions which would otherwise have been so much duller had you not been around. And nobody  was prouder than I when we discovered you weren't only talented in writing and drawing, but you were also talented in music.  You are a gifted violinist who never fails to amaze audiences during recitals. I always hear whispered praises whenever you play during those occasions and it takes all of my self-control not to look around me and proudly say, "That's my son, that's my son!"

Still, as joyful as it is to be your mom, it has also been hard.  I guess motherhood is like that, a balanced blend of joys and pains, of laughter and tears, of victories and defeats.  I guess it's even harder because you are so much like me and along with my interests and positive traits, you also got the ones which I like least. You are stubborn, you insist on having your own way and you try your best to have the last word.  Now I know how it is for my mom and my dad.  I only wish that these traits will be tamed through the years just like I have tamed mine and that you will grow up to be quite a gentleman.

You have changed so much over the years.  You now have mood swings, which, I know for a fact, you didn't get from me.  You never kiss me anymore, you seldom give me a hug and  you don't want me to hold your hand.    You now insist on your own style in terms of clothing, haircut, and even in the way you pose in front of a camera.  Goodness!  Why you like to imitate old folks who used to wear straight faces in front of a camera is something that will forever be beyond me.

My dear Tootsieroll, my Mr. Toots, my big boy Manuel, we have gone through a lot.  I know I have not been the perfect mom....I've been far from it, in fact. But that doesn't mean I love you any less.  I love you more than I can ever express in my words or in my actions.  Sometimes I know I can be hard, I can be harsh. Sometimes, I get frustrated and angry. Sometimes I raise my voice or I shout. Sometimes I give punishments.  I hope you understand why I react the way I do, why I say the words I say, why I do the things I do.  It's all because I love you and I want you to be the best person you can possibly be. You have so much potential within you and I am not saying this because I am your mom. I know so because I've been around kids for years and it's my job to know these things.  I don't want you to put it all to waste. I want you to have the beautiful life God had planned for you.    I just want you to be independent. I want you to grow up to be a productive member of society, and a responsible and loving Christian.  I want you to love people and I want people to love you back.

When you were in my womb, I had so many plans for you.  I expected you to do things I could do and do them better, to do things I was never able to do due to fear and lack of confidence, to like all the things I liked. I wanted you to be the perfect me.  As it turned out, even though you are so much like me, you are,  in so  many ways, so different from me.

You are your own person.  Do everything you can to develop all your talents, capabilities and potentials.   Always challenge your mind.  Have a passion for learning.  Enhance your skills. Practice is the key.  Discover more of yourself.  Be better today than yesterday.  Eat healthy and exercise regularly. Forgive others and forgive yourself.  Don't let the past tie you down. Learn from it then move on.  Pray hard and work hard. Love God more than anyone and anything.  Give respect and always treat others with kindness, empathy and consideration. Love everyone and do not be afraid to show this love. Love yourself, be proud of who you are but be wary of unhealthy pride. Always be humble and remember that everything you have, everything you are comes from God so everything you do should be for His greater glory.  I guess if you do all these, you will be even better than who I wanted you to be when you were in my womb.   You will be the perfect you and that is so much better than the perfect me.

You will always be my baby boy no matter how many years have gone by and how many more will come and pass.  It feels good to know that I will always be the first woman you have loved. At least, that is something no girl, lady or woman can ever take away from me. :)

May the world always be kind to you.   God bless you, my son.   May the good Lord grant us many more happy decades to enjoy each other's company and may He bless you  with a long, happy, and fulfilling life.

                                                                                                                 Love always,
                                                                                                                 Mommy

Here are some pictures of my son taken over the years. They are not chronological though.

My son was born in the pre-digital age so I only posted a couple of baby pictures here.

his first violin

after a music festival

I post this with the hope of my son stumbling upon it soon.  He doesn't read my blog....or at least pretends not to.