Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Fourth letter to Sofia

Dearest Sofie,

Happy one month in heaven, my darling.

One month ago yesterday, you were born and on the same day you grew your angel wings. We celebrated your one month in heaven with a sweet cake that Dad bought for you. It's a cake from Bizu, the patisserie where your dad took me on our first date.

I wanted to write this letter to you yesterday but Dad and I had an agreement that we wouldn't use the internet at night so that we could use the time to talk and enjoy each other's company. That's why when he turned off the wifi , I didn't complain or dare to turn it on again. After all, it was I who requested for that new house rule.

I know you're in a much happier place but still, there is no day when I didn't wish I could still hold you in my arms till you fell asleep, or that I could sing you a lullaby, or watch you smile in your sleep, or hear you sigh contentedly as you  drink Mommy's milk. How I love to experience these things with you.

Have you found your baby siblings there in heaven yet? I don't really know their genders but I would like to believe they were girls like you. Are you playing with them? I hope you enjoy your time together. Tell them Mommy loves them too.

As you sit on God's lap, can you ask God to keep our family safe on earth, specially Mommy, Daddy, Kuya?

I love you my dear sweet Sofie. There's nothing I want more than for you to be with me but it is no longer possible. I am asking God for another baby girl, healthy and normal this time so that she can live with us for a long time, just so I will be happy again.  I know there'll be times when I will still be sad knowing you're not here and that I will still miss you every day but at least if I had a little girl with me, at least I will be happy again. Can you please help me beg God?

You will always be special to Mommy, always missed, always loved. Nothing and nobody can change that.

Remember me always.

Lots of hugs and kisses,

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