Monday, January 25, 2016

Seventeenth Letter to Sofia

Dearest Sofie,

Happy ninth month in Heaven sweet baby!  As I sit here, waiting for your daddy to bring home your cake, I wonder how you are, what you look like right now.   I wonder if you stayed the same tiny baby that I gave birth to nine months ago or if Heaven lets babies grow into little children and that you are bigger now, crawling perhaps in the garden of the Lord.  I wonder who is bigger, you or your two other siblings who returned to Heaven when they were only weeks old.

I wonder if you look at me and if you're proud of what you see... because I am not, I am not proud of myself, of the kind of mother I am.  But I promise you sweet, Sofie, that I will try my best to be the best mom I can be to your Kuya and to the healthy and normal baby sister (or brother) that I hope is now growing inside me.

I sit here and think how much I miss you and how much I will always miss you for the rest of my life, that even if your dad and I will be blessed with a baby we can raise and see grow up to maturity, we will never forget you.  We will always miss you.  And we will always celebrate your short life the way that we do today, because we love you and we always will.

Lots of flying hugs and kisses to Heaven,

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