Seventeenth Letter to Sofia

Dearest Sofie,

Happy ninth month in Heaven sweet baby!  As I sit here, waiting for your daddy to bring home your cake, I wonder how you are, what you look like right now.   I wonder if you stayed the same tiny baby that I gave birth to nine months ago or if Heaven lets babies grow into little children and that you are bigger now, crawling perhaps in the garden of the Lord.  I wonder who is bigger, you or your two other siblings who returned to Heaven when they were only weeks old.

I wonder if you look at me and if you're proud of what you see... because I am not, I am not proud of myself, of the kind of mother I am.  But I promise you sweet, Sofie, that I will try my best to be the best mom I can be to your Kuya and to the healthy and normal baby sister (or brother) that I hope is now growing inside me.

I sit here and think how much I miss you and how much I will always miss you for the rest of my life, that even if your dad and I will be blessed with a baby we can raise and see grow up to maturity, we will never forget you.  We will always miss you.  And we will always celebrate your short life the way that we do today, because we love you and we always will.

Lots of flying hugs and kisses to Heaven,
Mommy

A Bit of News

It's been some time since my last post.  I honestly haven't found the mood nor the inspiration to write any post at all since then.   Tonight I decided to borrow my husband's laptop (my laptop's charger is missing...I'm hoping against hope it's in school so that I wouldn't have to buy a new one) and write a short post. 

I found out through urinary bladder ultrasound last Friday that my kidney and bladder are stone free!  The shockwave that I went through in December has successfully pulverized it and the 3 liters of water I have been drinking a day for one month has flushed it all down.  My urologist cleared me yesterday and just advised me to have a yearly ultrasound to make sure any new stone is discovered early.  So you know what this means?!  It's time to have a baby!!!

I am excited, a bit scared (because of what happened the last time and the second to the last time I was pregnant)  but this is my dream and I have to be brave, to think positive, to keep on praying, to keep on hoping, and to keep believing.

Sofia and my two other  angels in Heaven are rooting for me and their dad.  I know it.  And probably, they are praying for us and with us.

And to all of you out there who are reading this, wish us luck....if you have time, please include us in your prayers.  Help us pray for a normal, healthy and strong baby.

Thank you very much!

2016 Bucket List

Happy 2016!

This is my very first post for the new year.  Though I received many blessings last year, it was, in general, a sad year for me.   So I am hoping and praying that 2016 will be a so much happier  for me and for my family and of course for the whole world.  I am quite positive that it will be.

I don't really make resolutions.  I think the last time I made one was when I was in grade school.  And when I realized that I kept breaking the resolutions I had made, I stopped making them altogether.

I do have a bucket list for this year.  I'd like to share them with you in no particular order.

1.  Conceive and give birth to a strong, normal and healthy baby.  (I'm still wishing and praying for a

     baby girl though I will love a baby boy just the same.)      

2.  Read the book, "Love, Rosie".

3.  Buy the townhouse I have set my eye on.

4.  Meet with my old friends.  (I haven't had a get together with any of my old friends for a year!)

5.  Open an online shop.

6.  Celebrate Sofia's birthday.  (I want Sofia's short life to mean something. I want to honor her

     memory by doing something special for others every time we celebrate her birthday.   I want her

     to mean something to other people, for them to know that once there was a baby girl named Sofia

     Marie.   But I still haven't decided on anything.  I have ideas in my head but nothing for certain    yet.      I want to be sure first that we will be able to keep it up every year for the rest of our lives.  One of the ideas running through my head is to find a less fortunate child ,a girl if possible, who is

     is celebrating her birthday on the same day as Sofia's and donate a birthday cake.  If you have

     ideas, I hope you tell me.  I would really appreciate it.)

7.  Save at least five thousand pesos more than I saved last year.

8.  Exercise more.

9.  Go back to eating healthy foods.

10. Start paying off my social security loan.

So, these are the few items in my bucket list.  I didn't include any traveling this year because I really want to do number one and that leaves no room for traveling for a while.

I hope that with the grace and love of God, I will be able to tick off each and every one of the items on my list.  May God bless us all with good health, prosperity, happiness, love and peace this 2016. May He fill it with wonderful surprises, joyful moments, and happy memories.  May our tables be laden with good things, and may we always be surrounded with the love and presence of family and friends.  May He keep everyone of us safe and away from danger and illness. And may we be always a blessing to others.  Happy 2016! Cheers!