My dearest Sofie,
Last Saturday was your third month in Heaven. Once again, we celebrated it with chocolate cake. I hope you saw us as we all partook of it. Dad and I prayed the Rosary for you that night, like we do, several times a week. I always think of you. But sometimes, when I am in public, I try to control my thoughts and I don't allow myself to think too much or too long because whenever I think too much or too long, I end up crying.
It hurts me that had things been different, I would have been so excited now. Daddy, Mommy and Kuya would have been busy preparing for your birth. You were supposed to be born two weeks from now. I would have been surrounded with pink baby clothes and pink toys for you. I miss you so much! My only comfort is that I know that you will never know physical pain, you will never know fear, you will never know sadness, loneliness or rejection. Your heart will never be broken. You will never know ugliness and darkness. The only thing that you know and will ever know is complete happiness because now you are in Heaven. Now, you are in God's arms where He kisses you every day because I ask Him to do it for me every morning. You are and will always be carefree and happy. You are and will always be surrounded with nothing but beauty and love. Because of this, I am sad and happy at the same time.
I love you, Sofie and I miss you so much. I think about you every day. I love you with every beat of my heart.
Love always,
Mommy
I just remembered a chapter from the book "Heaven is for Real" that may bring you all a new sort of peace about your dear Sofia. I cannot find the excerpt online but I did find a blog post where a lady shared pieces of it here: http://sarahhinze.com/2012/02/14/heaven-is-for-real-by-todd-burpo/ My thoughts are will you still.
ReplyDeleteEm, thanks so much! I went there and read the story. I couldn't stop crying while I was reading it. It was lovely!
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