Thursday, July 16, 2015

Eighth Letter to Sofia

My dear Sofie,

I went back to work yesterday. I was a little early and there were only few teachers in the faculty room when I arrived. They asked how I was and I said I was okay. They didn't ask more but I knew they were curious about you, about why you were born so early. I felt that they thought it would be better to just keep silent because maybe they thought that you were a delicate topic and that they didn't want to upset me by bringing you up. However, it was their silence that upset me. As minutes passed and as more teachers came in, none of them had the good sense of asking me about you and I felt like crying. I wanted them to ask me about you. I wanted them to know you were born, that I saw you and I kissed you and that you were real. I wanted them to remember you ARE real.

To me, their silence meant that they were pretending nothing happened just to avoid a delicate topic. And it hurt me. It hurt me that I could not validate your existence. I knew that had you been here still, they would have asked me about you, about my birth experience. I knew that the atmosphere would have been different, that the room would not have been as quiet. Because that is the normal thing that happens when a new mom goes back to work. But I don't see why it should be different with me. I don't see why it should be different with you.  You are my child, my sweet baby and no matter how short your stay was here on earth, your short life, was and is still a cause of great joy and celebration for me and for your dad. And I wish more people knew that. I wish more people knew that asking about me about you would not upset me but would actually make me happy. I wish more people knew that asking me about you would probably bring tears to my eyes but they would be tears of joy because I would know that they remembered you. I wish more people knew that talking about you gives me great joy.

It was a very difficult morning for me but today was much better.

My dear Sofie, I love you so much! I miss you so much! And I'm so proud of you!!!

Love always and lots of flying kisses,


  1. I am so sorry that your heart is still hurting so much. I am sure that your coworkers just didn't know what to say. I hope you can reach out to some of them with time and you'll feel better being able to talk about Sofia with them.

    1. Emily, thank you for your kindness. I have talked to my close friend about Sofia. It made me happy.

  2. Reasons to Believe in Jesus

    Reasons to believe Jesus is alive in a new life with God can be found in quotes from two prominent atheists and a biology textbook.

    Thus the passion of man is the reverse of that of Christ, for man loses himself as man in order that God may be born. But the idea of God is contradictory and we lose ourselves in vain. Man is a useless passion. (Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness: A Phenomenological Essay on Ontology, New York: Washington Square Press, p. 784)

    Among the traditional candidates for comprehensive understanding of the relation of mind to the physical world, I believe the weight of evidence favors some from of neutral monism over the traditional alternatives of materialism, idealism, and dualism. (Thomas Nagel, Mind and Cosmos: Why the Materialist Neo-Darwinian Conception of Nature Is Almost Certainly False, location 69 of 1831)

    And certain properties of the human brain distinguish our species from all other animals. The human brain is, after all, the only known collection of matter that tries to understand itself. To most biologists, the brain and the mind are one and the same; understand how the brain is organized and how it works, and we’ll understand such mindful functions as abstract thought and feelings. Some philosophers are less comfortable with this mechanistic view of mind, finding Descartes’ concept of a mind-body duality more attractive. (Neil Campbell, Biology, 4th edition, p. 776 )

    Sartre speaks of the "passion of man," not the passion of Christians. He is acknowledging that all religions east and west believe there is a transcendental reality and that perfect fulfillment comes from being united with this reality after we die. He then defines this passion with a reference to Christian doctrine which means he is acknowledging the historical reasons for believing in Jesus. He does not deny God exists. He is only saying the concept of God is contradictory. He then admits that since life ends in the grave, it has no meaning.

    From the title of the book, you can see that Nagel understands that humans are embodied sprits and that the humans soul is spiritual. He says, however, that dualism and idealism are "traditional" alternatives to materialism. Dualism and idealism are just bright ideas from Descartes and Berkeley. The traditional alternative to materialism is monism. According to Thomas Aquinas unity is the transcendental property of being. Campbell does not even grasp the concept of monism. The only theories he grasps are dualism and materialism.

    If all atheists were like Sartre, it would be an obstacle to faith. An important reason to believe in Jesus is that practically all atheists are like Nagel and Campbell, not like Sartre.

    by David Roemer


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