Thursday, May 29, 2014

For My Angel in Heaven

For 13 days I walked around in a bubble of happiness.

I learned I was pregnant and for a while everything was different. The world looked brighter. I was finally pregnant after fourteen years. I was sure it was a girl.

That bubble of happiness burst yesterday when I lost the baby.
I came home feeling empty. It's funny how you can miss someone you've never really seen, how it's so easy to love someone after just two weeks of knowing she existed.

I read somewhere that souls who leave this earth even before being born are the holiest of souls. And that is my consolation. I pray that she knows that we loved her and still do and that love will always be there no matter how many years pass and even if I give birth to another baby girl. I will always remember those thireen days of happiness that she gave me. Those moments I placed my hands on my tummy, desperately trying to somehow connect with her are so precious to me. So I thank her for making me and her dad so happy even if it was just for a little while.

I know she is an angel in heaven and she will always be there to help me pray to God. I'll have a little angel in heaven praying to God to give me a little angel here on earth, a healthy baby girl who looks just like me and whom I will raise in God's love so that one day when she is old and has lived a full life, she will go back to God in heaven.

So to my little angel in heaven, Marie Clarisse, you will always be a part of me. Thank you for the joy and happiness you made us feel. I have never kissed or hugged you but God will kiss and hug you for me.  I love you forever.


  1. Oh my... I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. This is really sad. But I admire how you choose to see things in a good perspective. And I'm sure your little angel is now in heaven. We don't know each other but *hugs* to you girl.

  2. I'm so sorry! I will be praying for you, for peace and strength! Keep the positive attitude! Things may get hard but hold on to that promise!

  3. I am so so sorry my love. I will pray for you xx

  4. So sorry, this is heartbreaking. My prayers for you and Marie Clarisse.


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