Feelings

I've been feeling a little down lately.  I've had two disappointments this month although I'm still kind of hoping that things would turn around at the last moment and I'd end up with only one disappointment after all.

I have not been feeling well physically either.  There's an on and off feeling of nausea.  It's been five days now.  I woke up at 8 am yesterday and when I stood up I felt like vomiting.   Today, there was just this general feeling of being unwell but I just can't seem to pinpoint what is wrong. I just like lying down all the time.

I suspect that my brain is making my body think it is pregnant.  I've heard of women having pregnancy symptoms just because they wanted to be pregnant and not because they were actually pregnant.  Well, all of these would have been worth it if I was.

My sister and her family are leaving for Australia for a three-week vacation tomorrow.  I'm sure I'm going to miss playing with little Emilio. I'd be back at work by the time they get back.

Meanwhile, I just have to get my body shrug off this "unreasonable" feeling and try to enjoy the rest of my summer break.

National Infertility Awareness Week

I had another ultrasound today....another disappointment.  I was very hopeful before today but it seems that my body is not responding to my medications.  My endometrium was still thin and the size of my follicles was not enough for the doctor to release the egg.

Then I opened my facebook and I was bombarded with announcements from acquaintances who had either given birth or are expecting. I want to be happy for them, but I just can't.  I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.

This journey that my husband and I are on is indeed filled with highs and lows, anticipation, anxiety and frustration.  While searching the net for information about infertility and natural ways to boost one's fertility I realized that there were a lot of women who are on the same journey. 

This week is actually National Infertility Awareness Week, and to help raise awareness, Lauren of Our Crazy Ever After is hosting a linkup for women who would like to share their own personal stories on infertility.  She has paired us up with other bloggers who would be hosting our stories on their blogs.

To know more about my story, swing by  Becoming What I Always Was.  Miki was gracious enough to host it.  

Easter Happiness

Happy Easter everyone! I wonder how you spent your Holy Week.

Mine was spent in prayer, visiting churches, praying the Stations of the Cross, the Sorrowful Mysteries, going to confession and going to a lovely Easter Vigil and Easter Mass late last night.  I regret not having prayed more though and I plan to visit more churches and to pray more next year, with God's bountiful blessings.

Easter morning was spent cooking.  I cooked fried chicken and spaghetti for a simple Easter lunch and we had sliced water melon for dessert.  It was a simple, yet special meal because my parents were here and my sister's family too.

I hid some Easter eggs for my nephew to find.  At the last moment, I brought out the book I bought for the occasion.

 I spotted  this book after I bought the bunny below.   I noticed that it was about Easter and the color of the rabbit was the exact color of the bunny I bought.  I just had to buy the book for Emilio.

I named him Peter Cottontail, just like the rabbit character in the book.  I thought that would help Emilio relate the character in the book to the  live bunny.

so cute!

Here's Emilio with his new book.

And because we just couldn't get enough of Emilio, we decided to follow them to the mall later in the afternoon.  We had ramen for dinner.

Emilio is always so happy when I'm around.  

Oh and that's my son who is a proud Michael Jackson fan.  He's showing off MJ's new record cover which he made into his cellphone wallpaper.

                                           We had these yummy creme puffs for dessert.

I just can't get enough of them. Not too sweet but sweet enough to make you crave. I was just scared that  gaining more weight would make it harder for me to conceive so I didn't finish everything.

I wonder how you spent your Easter.  I hope it was just as blessed as mine.

Just some thoughts before I hit the hay

It's been quite some time since my last post.  My absence here isn't really due to inactivity in my life but due to the fact that I am still trying to finish my backlog from the previous school year.

It's really mind boggling for me, knowing that I do not rest during my breaks yet I still have a lot of work left undone! Right after one class, I go to the faculty room at once to check papers or books, and record them. Whatever time I have left is used for lesson planning which leads me to a question I'd like to ask other teachers out there. How long does it take you to write your lesson plan? My co-teachers and I need at least four hours to write a decent lesson plan. Our lesson plan format is quite complicated.  It takes me an hour just to get past the first page!

So anyway, today was card distribution day and I was so surprised to read the announcement.  Opening of classes is on June 4, 2014!!!  That's barely two months from now....and it doesn't mean that we'll be asked to report only on the fourth.  Chances are we'd be in school in the middle of May!!! Waaah!!!

I'm so in need of a vacation.  I just want to get away from all the stress and not think for a few days.  I hope I can do that this summer. Everyone on facebook seems to be going somewhere.  Sigh!

I went back to the doctor yesterday and I was advised to take 15 more tablets of Duphaston.  Pregnancy test will be on the 15th.

It's a warm night and I want something sweet and cold.   You know what will make me happy?

A glass of this!