Twenty-third Letter to Sofia

My darling Sofia,

You'll be turning two in a couple of weeks.  Even though you are in Heaven I am still excited to celebrate your birthday.  I want it to be special just like last year because you are special and I want
people to know that you matter.

Daddy and I always talk about you.  Sometimes he talks about his plans for you as if you were still around to make his plans come true.   Most of the time, he smells my ears and imagines it's your ears he's smelling.  It's weird, I know.  But in a way, it makes him a little happier.

It's been almost two years but until now I do not understand what happened.  I still don't understand why you were taken from us so soon.  I still don't understand why God gave me a gift He never meant for me to open.  And the sad thing is that I don't think I will ever understand.  Daddy mentioned the other day how you sighed in his arms and I realized that I never even felt you breathe.  It makes me so sad that I never even really felt you except for that time I rubbed my cheek against yours  and kissed you.   Knowing that that memory is slowly fading with time makes me even sadder.  I want so much to remember how your skin felt against mine but the remembrance of it is slowly fading away.

Despite the fact that it's getting harder for me to remember how your skin felt like, I want you to always remember that you will never be forgotten.  You will always be remembered.  You will always be loved, my sweet baby girl.  Mommy will always keep you in her heart.

I love you always, Sofie!  Flying hugs and kisses to Heaven...

Love,
Mommy