Watercolor and Me

After finishing my lesson plans for the first and second quarter of the next school year,  I am now officially on my summer break. This makes me so happy!!!

Our family doesn't really have definite vacation plans this summer so I'm sure I have a lot of time for movie marathons.  But aside from that, I have listed down some projects that I have been putting off for quite some time now, which I hope to finish before the end of my break.

One of them is learning how to paint with water colors.  The last time I worked with water colors was when I was in grade school.  I remember using threads, screens, and blowing the water in different directions but I never really got the hang of it. In fact, I didn't really know what to do to make my art work look nicer.  Decades afterwards, water color calligraphy has become quite a fad.  And I want to make my own to decorate my living room or our bedroom with.

Today, I had my first water color practice.  It can be quite frustrating, I must admit. Writing letters with loops using a brush is something I didn't imagine could be difficult.

 

I know this is far from good but it was my best this morning.

After several attempts, at calligraphy, I finally was able to paint popsicles which looked decent enough and one word which would not have earned a passing grade if I were a calligraphy teacher.

I do find the popsicles cute for a first timer.  I am so happy with them...I think I am going to make more! They're the only things I can make for now. Hahaha! Anyway, if they look familiar, it might be because you've seen them on YouTube.  I watched Art TV by Fantasvale  and thought the popsicles were simple enough for a beginner like me to try. And I was right. 

I wish calligraphy was as easy as painting popsicles.  

April's Joys

April was a month of celebrations,  milestones and dreams coming true.

April 2:

My son Manuel attended their  Junior Seniors Prom at the Novotel Hotel.

April 9:

My sister celebrated her 39th birthday.  She treated us to the breakfast buffet of Balay Dako in Tagaytay.  They had a wide selection of breakfast food items and I enjoyed every morsel.  Plus, there's the beautiful view.  If you haven't tried Balay Dako's breakfast buffet I'm telling you, it's worth getting up early for.

April 12:

I finally got to watch Les Miserables.  This is my favorite musical of all times and it has been my dream since I was 17 years old (and that's a long way back) to watch it.  My sister and I started listening to the songs and loving them when I was 15 or 16 years old.  When I was 17 my dad started taking us to musical plays and that's when I started to wish Repertory Philippines could make another production of Les Miserables (They made one and I missed it because that was before I was interested in the play).  I was also 17 when I read the novel and I fell in love with the book.  Jean Valjean is my favorite character and Les Miserables is number one in my list of favorites.  Reading the novel made me love the musical even more.  It really reflected the emotions in the book.  Except for Marius: I hate his character but the musical made him likable.

Here I am with this production's Jean Valjean

My worn out but well loved copy of Les Miserables together with my souvenir program

April 25:

We celebrated Sofia's first birthday.  Sofia's life, short though it was, was and still is a cause of great celebration and great joy for our family.  You can read all about that in this post.

April 29:

My Tootsieroll "graduated" from Junior High.  I put the quotation marks because I am still not used to this K-12 system where the seniors in high school do not graduate but merely attend the Moving Up Ceremony.  They are not called graduates but completers.

This was taken during the Thanksgiving Mass which was held a day before the Moving Up.  The Junior High completers attended this Mass together with the Grade 6 Graduates.  I volunteered my son to offer something for the offertory part of the Mass and that's why he's holding this bouquet of flowers in this photo.

This is one of my favorite parts of the Thanksgiving Mass. It's actually done towards the end of the Mass after the communion.  The Basic Education Principal holds a lighted candle and lights candles of some of the students.  The light is then passed from one candle to another until all students are holding lighted candles.  I think it was very beautiful and symbolic.

This picture was taken the next day, during the Moving Up Ceremony.  That's my son facing the camera and there I am with my back towards the camera.  That's his dad beside me.  We went up the stage to receive his medal and place it around his neck.  You can see the theme there behind the nun.  It says: Go forth Paulinians: Spread the Word.  Share the Light. Transform the World.

My Tootsieroll with his two dads.

We went to Four Seasons Hotpot and Buffet right after  the Moving Up to celebrate my son's achievement.  It was attended by his grandparents (my side), my sister and her family and his nanny who has been with us since he was in first grade.

And this little boy here was the reason I was not able to enjoy the buffet.  He wanted to play with me ALL the time! He's my sister's son, my nephew and my godson.

I am so proud of my son!  He has brought me so much joy.  He may not be perfect but he is God's perfect gift to me and I cannot ask for a better son. I thank God for His many blessings and for making the month of April such a blessed and beautiful month.  It was indeed a joyful month for everyone.

Nineteenth Letter to Sofia

Dear Sofie,

I cannot believe it's been one year since the day I gave birth to you.  Time has flown so fast, no matter how much I wanted it to slow down, for fear of getting too far from the time you were here with us...with me.

I hope it's a happy day for you in Heaven, hearing Mommy sing Happy Birthday for you this morning. I wanted to make this day special for you and for our family so that time you heard Mommy sing, it was 4:10 in the morning.  We woke up early to go to the hills because it was the highest place I could go to and I wanted to go as close to you as possible.

                                               We went to a place called Caleruega.

                Daddy, Kuya and I had a picnic breakfast there  to celebrate your birthday.

We had fried chicken, salmon pie, prawns, apples, grapes and oranges , and of course a birthday cake for you with three lighted candles (one for each member of your family here on earth).  I hope next year there will be four candles.

You want to see what the rest of the place looked like?

Here's Daddy in the middle of the hanging bridge.

    There he is again...so tired from carrying the heavy cooler.

     

                                                       I wrapped a present for you.

No, Mommy hasn't gone crazy wrapping presents for an angel baby who doesn't need earthly things anymore.  I wrapped a present because I wanted to have the joy of wrapping something for you. And then....we gave your present away to children who needed it more.

See ? It says, "To Earth's little angels....From Heaven's Sofia Marie"

                                              You want to know what's inside?

My favorites are the ones with angel wings.

These baby clothes went to the babies who live here ....

Their mommies abandoned them so  the Augustinian sisters take care of them.

We also gave them some diapers in addition to the baby clothes.

Here is your birthday cake which we shared with your Lola Alma and Lolo Maning yesterday.

I forgot to take a picture of it before slicing.  

    And of course, we made sure you had fresh flowers.

We also offered Masses for you in different churches and it's almost time to attend one of them now.  I have to go and change.

I just want your memory to live.  I want your life, no matter how short it was, to mean something not just to me or to our family but to the world.  That is why I am going to do nice things in your name for the rest of my life.  I want it to be said that the world is a little bit brighter BECAUSE YOU LIVED.

Happy Birthday and happy 1st year in Heaven.  I hope you're having a blast with your two siblings.

I love you, dear Sofie.  I miss you so much!

Lots of flying hugs and kisses to Heaven,

Mommy

Reflections on My Life this Easter Monday

Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it.

When you are young you have so many plans and dreams just like I had at 18. And though I didn't think of the concrete steps to make these dreams a reality, I was able to make some of them come true. Right after graduation I landed a nice job in a multinational company in the financial district of Makati and I was given a very attractive compensation package. I had an endowment plan at the age of 20. I had saved enough money for my trip to Europe at the age of 23 and I owned shares of stocks at the age of 25.

At 23, life held so much promise but somewhere along the way, I made some mistakes, one after another. And just like a tower of cards, my life came crumbling down right before my very eyes.

Today, I am far from the person I wanted and envisioned myself to be before graduation.  I'm now just someone who lives life wishing things were different, thinking of things that could have been, wondering if life would have turned out differently had I stuck to my beliefs, had I been wiser, braver, bolder,  humbler, had I been more patient and tolerant with people and their schemes or would I have ended up on the same road somehow because my mistakes just led me right where God really planned for me to be?

Since 2006, I have touched the lives of more than a thousand students.  I like  to believe I have started a spark in their hearts, sparks that will become flames as they grow older. I  like to believe that they are now better persons because of me, that someday they will become doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, executives, politicians, and teachers like myself, and they will all be amazing and good  because of what I have planted in their hearts. I like to believe that I am able to do what I came here to do -- to change the world one student at a time.

I have always said that I have made two major mistakes that have more or less dictated the direction of my life--  getting married at a young age of 23 and leaving the job I loved for reasons that only my immature 26-year-old self can understand.

Influencing the lives of my students is something I can live without but what I cannot live without is my son, my opinionated, talented 16-year-old musician, the one I gave birth to at the age of 25.  And everytime I think of all the mistakes I've made, each time I wish I could go back in time and live my past the way I should have, I realize time and again that this mistake of marrying young was something I'd gladly do over and over again because it means having my Tootsieroll in my life.  If I didn't marry at 23, I probably would never have married his dad which meant that though I might have had a son he would not have been my Mr. Toots, and that's a life I don't want to live.

Life is mysterious. Life is full of uncertainties. Life is sad and thinking about all the what-if's and the what-could-have -been's can make you go crazy. Life is complicated and life is never easy.  But despite everything life is still worth living. Life is exciting and life is meaningful because of the people you love -- whether they are with you because of the things you've done wrong or they're with you because of the things you've done right. Life is still beautiful no matter what. Life itself is hope because no matter which road I am on, no matter how many mistakes I have made and will still make in the future, God is with me and always will be.